Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extend do you agree?

Some
people
argue that
internet
usage in social
media
made an unhealthy effect on
people
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
and
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
show examples
with others. Facebook may help humans to connect with friends from around
thw
Correct your spelling
the
world, but
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the dark
side
Add a comma
,side
show examples
it causes
internet
crime without a wise utilization. I agree with that statement
however
,
this
essay will discuss both points of view followed by reasons and examples. On the one hand,
virtual
Add an article
the virtual
show examples
world contains a lot of helpful ways for
people
socializing
Change the verb form
to socialize
show examples
with others even if they live separately.
For example
, it
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
useful when young adults pursue an education outside their hometown and suddenly feel homesick,
facebook
Change the capitalization
Facebook
show examples
respectively, makes them be able to overcome that feeling. It
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
for long-distance
couple
Fix the agreement mistake
couples
show examples
in helping them communicate with
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
. Imagine in the past couples correspond by letter and it takes a long time before the letter
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
.
Consequently
,
facebook
Change the capitalization
Facebook
show examples
provide easier life
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
humans nowadays to correspond with
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
rapidly and easily.
On the other hand
, social
media
causes
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
serious effects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the criminal based on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
if the utilization is uncontrol. Kidnapping, murder, robbing,
child-abuse
Correct your spelling
child abuse
show examples
,sexual
harrasment
Correct your spelling
harassment
are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
examples of the danger of the virtual world. It is because social networking can be an effective modus for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminal to attract their victims.
In addition
, it may affect human ability to socialize in person, since they are regularly chatting with virtual
people
, the
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
to communicate with
people
in person is considered to be unnecessary.Yet, the vicious impacts of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
are often unseen by
people
nowadays. To sum up,
although
social
media
do help
people
from all places to communicate easily, it contains many negative impacts to its users, because the utilization is often lead to
internet based
Add a hyphen
internet-based
show examples
crime or antisocial behaviour in real life.
The wise
Correct article usage
Wise
show examples
usage is mandatory nowadays and for the future, to avoid
people
from those dark impacts of social
media
.
Submitted by Vanessanatha on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
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