IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Solving environmental problems should be the responsibility of an international organization rather than each national government. Do you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays a lot of
countries
Use synonyms
 suffer from environmental pollution. A crowd of
people
Use synonyms
 think that international organizations must care about
this
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 I believe that
this
Linking Words
 problem should be solved by the
government
Use synonyms
 of each
country
Use synonyms
 in each
country
Use synonyms
 respectively. The first point is the skills of an international
group
Use synonyms
. It is obvious that only
one
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 even full of
people
Use synonyms
 can not protect the whole world. Actually, they already doing it. Because, all presidents of
countries
Use synonyms
 are already in
one
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
, which is called the
government
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, they all doing it by themselves.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, not all
country
Use synonyms
 clear as others.
For instance
Linking Words
, India has environmental issues. The main of
this
Linking Words
 is the amount of
people
Use synonyms
. India is in the top five dirty
countries
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 issue will be the responsibility of the international
group
Use synonyms
, only when all
countries
Use synonyms
 are clear and can afford to give
this
Linking Words
 task from the national
government
Use synonyms
 to the international organizations. The second point is the changing any details of the
country
Use synonyms
. The reason for
this
Linking Words
, putting all
countries
Use synonyms
 in
one
Use synonyms
 box. Obviously, if there is only
one
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of
government
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 the rules for
people
Use synonyms
 will be similar.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the mentality and traditions of
countries
Use synonyms
 are not the same.
For example
Linking Words
, the Japanese like to eat insects.
While
Linking Words
 the residents of
countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Russia can not represent it. And there are a lot of other traditions. A simple example is Kazakh
people
Use synonyms
 burn the grass to protect themselves from wolves. And there is any possibility of having restrictions for
people
Use synonyms
 who like eating meat. In conclusion, having everything mentioned up we can say that
this
Linking Words
 will be the worst and not the correct decision.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clarity
Clarify your arguments further. Some points, such as the issue of environmental cleanliness with respect to India's population and the Kazakh tradition of burning grass, need more explanation to make their relevance clear.
cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, by using cohesive devices like furthermore, in addition, however, etc.
examples
Provide more specific examples and evidence. You mentioned India and Japan but giving more specific data or instances would strengthen your argument.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, main body, and conclusion.
unique points
You have interesting points such as the uniqueness of each country's situation and traditions.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental degradation
  • nation's jurisdiction
  • international collaboration
  • global response
  • coordinated effort
  • enforcing environmental laws
  • sharing best practices
  • innovations and technologies
  • critical resources and knowledge
  • international agreements
  • equitable distribution
  • accountability
  • oversight
  • local context
What to do next:
Look at other essays: