Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative trend?

Smartphones
Use synonyms
have become addictive among all age groups in
this
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day and age. It is
also
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believed that many kids nowadays spend most of their time on their phones.
This
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essay will examine
this
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case and discuss whether it is a positive or a negative trend. On the one hand, there are several reasons why
children
Use synonyms
waste their time on their phones. One reason is outdated entertainment playgrounds.
For example
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,
children
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nowadays prefer updated games in playgrounds to
children
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from back
then
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,
such
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as updated arcades
instead
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of seeking games on their
smartphones
Use synonyms
. Another reason may be the acquired sedentary lifestyles from their
folks
Check wording
parents
show examples
.
For instance
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, kids are influenced by the adults in their daily lives.
Moreover
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, if their parents or caregivers are less physically active,
children
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may acquire the same habit and seek entertainment with less activity,
such
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as
smartphones
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.
Lastly
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, social media platforms brought the world closer and made communication worldwide easier.
Furthermore
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, it is likely that
children
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may end up on these platforms connecting with the outside world for hours.
On the other hand
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, spending hours on
smartphones
Use synonyms
can be a damaging trend when it comes to
children
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's brain development. There are numerous reasons for
this
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. One example is the fast, short clips viewed nowadays on different platforms, causing a rapid and fast increase in dopamine levels for short periods.
This
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is believed to cause short attention spans later on. Another reason is the negative physiological effect of constant exposure to screens on visual health, leading to poor sight eventually. In conclusion, as can be clearly seen, there are many reasons why some
children
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spend most of their time on their phones.
However
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,
this
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case has its negative consequences on their
overall
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health.

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Task Response
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and keep it in the end.
Coherence
Add more clear and tight ideas with simple links to show how each point connects to the main idea.
Content
Give one or two easy examples to back up your points and explain how they show the trend.
Grammar
Use short, plain sentences. Some lines are long and hard to read.
Lexical
Check phrase that sound wrong in plain words, like 'outdated playgrounds' or 'acquired sedentary lifestyle'.
Structure
Clear start about topic.
Cohesion
Use of 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand'.
Content
Some examples to show effect.
Argument
Conclusion shows the view.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • digital devices
  • smartphone addiction
  • online interactions
  • developmental impact
  • physical health
  • mental well-being
  • academic performance
  • parental supervision
  • proliferation of apps
  • engaging content
  • excessive use
  • sedentary lifestyle
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