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Band 6

In some countries, owning a house rather than renting one is more important for people. Why must be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #house #people #case #situation
It is very crucial for people to own a
house
 than to rent in some countries.
This
 case may be due to the privacy and saving money for renting. In my opinion, I believe it
have
Change the verb form
has
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 more advantage because owning property is the best investment
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long run.
Firstly
, buying
house
Add an article
a house
show examples
 is predominant over renting is simply to save money over
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long term. To be precise, buying a
house
 with
monthly
Correct article usage
a monthly
show examples
 mortgage instalment
instead
 of paying
rental
Add an article
a rental
show examples
 fee for accommodation will be better for some people.
Secondly
, being a
house
 owner is more important since it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more privacy as there is no need to share
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal information with
stranger
Add an article
a stranger
show examples
.
For instance
, tenant's particulars and supporting documents have to provide to the landlords in prefer to rent
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accommodation. That means that the particular were exposed to other every time signing the rental agreement. In my view, there are more positive impacts on owning a
house
 rather than renting because buying a home can be an investment.
In other words
, property prices usually increased over time and it has been accounted for
one
Change preposition
as one
show examples
 of the best
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
show examples
 in some countries. Another benefit of being a
house
 owner is that can be able to decorate the interior to suit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal preferences as the home become a reflection of the residences and
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 place for them to relax. In conclusion, many people prefer buying to renting a home to save money for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 and to keep their identities from strangers. From my point of view, belonging
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 accommodation would be
benifical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 as it can be investing on poverty and
also
 be able to renovate as your style.
Submitted by ms.hayhman on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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