IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #work #parks #gardens #city #center #apartment #buildings #commuters
Noadays
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
 whether replacing
parks
 and
gardens
 with accommodation buildings in
city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
areas
 could be beneficial in reducing commuting time has become a controversial topic. From my perspective, having more living
facilities
instead
 of
parks
 and
gardens
 in
city
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 should be considered in order to reduce commuting spendings.
First
 of all, recreation
facilities
such
 as
parks
 and
gardens
 have occupied spaces that would have been utilized for residential use around downtown
areas
. As consequence, there will be limited space for buildings, which led to high costs in real estate around central business districts, Residents in the
city
 may seek more reasonable prices of housing in suburban which takes longer time to commute to study or work.
In addition
, funds for local infrastructure maintenance came from tax revenue that governments could have used to build more affordable condos and apartments for citizens near downtown
areas
.
On the other hand
, the voices of removing
parks
 and
gardens
 are understandable. With the destruction of these
facilities
, civilians would lose
such
 spaces for recreation and relaxation.
Moreover
,
gardens
 and
parks
 could add beautiful sceneries to towns or cities.
However
, having affordable accommodation
facilities
 in
city
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 would be more significant to the public. Governments should consider removing some
parks
 and
gardens
 and constructing more affordable apartments
instead
 in these
areas
. By taking
such
 action, citizens would gain more freedom in choosing living locations. In conclusion,
although
parks
 and
gardens
 are an inseparable part of the
city
, the growing advocation of having more affordable places to live in CBD
areas
 has become unignorable. For
this
 reason, governments should take action to replace some of the
parks
 and
gardens
 with living
facilities
Submitted by jasonzeroshi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • commuters
  • urban areas
  • housing availability
  • alleviating housing crises
  • public transport
  • traffic congestion
  • environmental health
  • biodiversity
  • recreational
  • mental health benefits
  • urban heat islands
  • green lungs
  • community interaction
  • cohesion
  • innovative urban planning
  • multi-use buildings
What to do next:
Look at other essays: