IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#people #move #area #adults #development
Well connected transport networks and technological advancements have enabled shifting to new towns without
second
 thoughts.
People
 tend to leave their birthplace as they grow and the situation offers upsides as well as downsides. The following paragraphs will explore both sides of the argument and impress on my opinion that advantages do outweigh the disadvantages of
this
 migration.
To begin
 with, the movement of
people
 from their hometown has increased tremendously over the
last
 two decades and offers enticing benefits. The prime advantage of
this
 mobility is related to the professional growth associated with the movement.
For example
,
people
 from developing nations intend to settle in developed countries as these countries provide better job opportunities which might shoot the career trajectory of an individual.
Additionally
, the luxurious lifestyle assisted by holistic development is an enticing factor that aids migration. To
further
 explain, many
people
 wish to raise their living standards and dream to move to a place which is more developed than their birthplace.
This
 can help them achieve their goal and increase the prospects of better education for their children.
However
, the act of individuals leaving their hometown poses a few downsides.
Firstly
, the movement of
people
 from their birthplace might weaken the connection to their roots. To
further
 elaborate, those who move out at a young stage of their adulthood lack the knowledge of the rituals and ceremonies which are an important part of their tradition.
Besides
this
, the homesickness and lack of family that accompanies is another ambit of the argument that cannot be sidelined. Concludingly, the optimism and pessimism which comes along with the conjecture will exist in the near future.
However
, in my opinion, the above-mentioned advantages overpower the negatives of the scenario and justify the action of
people
 moving away from the place they hail from.
Submitted by raghavgupta2227 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • metropolitan
  • migration
  • globalization
  • socio-economic factors
  • traditional norms
  • cosmopolitan environment
  • brain drain
  • assimilation
  • gentrification
  • alienation
  • multiculturalism
  • infrastructure strain
What to do next:
Look at other essays: