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Band 5

Some people prefer to spend more time improving their careers. Others think that it’s more important to spend time with family and friends. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #careers #it’s #friends
In today's
world
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,world
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 some people tend to change their attitude when it comes to social relations. There are lots of factors which can
depent
Correct your spelling
depend
dependent
spent
 on that. Others will argue with the previous one that nothing is more significant than connection with other
humang
Correct your spelling
human
humans
 beings.
This
 essay will
discusse
Correct your spelling
discuss
 both sides before revealing
final
Correct article usage
the final
show examples
 conclusion. It
widely known
Add the auxiliary verb
is widely known
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 that people need to
constanly
Correct your spelling
constantly
 learn new things, in order to live
happy
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a happy
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 life and not to get bored.
As a
result
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,result
show examples
 they want to be self-
suffitient
Correct your spelling
sufficient
 and satisfied with their achievements. Sometimes their huge ambitions are so demanding, that they take their all time. We can not forget that everybody is different and so their needs, even though for some
this
 can look
as
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like
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 a definition of
unhappienes
Correct your spelling
unhappiness
, but for
others
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,others
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 money and work success can replace all human's interactions. What is
more
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,more
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 there is a very common
believe
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belief
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 that it is smarter to be
Replace the word
financially
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financial
Change the adjective
financially
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secured
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secure
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 before having a family, in order to be able to provide
for instance
 better education for a future child. On the other side,
big
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a big
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 part of the world
believe
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believes
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 that money can not give you a worth life. For them only what
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
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 are human
connetions
Correct your spelling
connections
connection
. Having that said, relations with family and friends.
This
 wide group is convinced that at the end of the day everyone wants to feel loved and know that they can
unconditionaly
Correct your spelling
unconditionally
 count on them. In order to have that, they need to build
a
Correct article usage
apply
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strong
fundaments
Correct the article-noun agreement
fundament
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 which
takes
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take
show examples
 time. To sum up, I believe that nothing can give more happiness
from
Change preposition
to
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 living than other people. It is essential to be surrounded by supporting relatives who will eventually help you improve your working status.
Submitted by anna.greczylo on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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