Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others,however , say that this would have little effect on pyblic health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinoin

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #pyblic #measures #opinoin

There are argumentative issues among

people

about boosting public health.Some of them

beleives

Correct your spelling

believes

believe

that constructing multiple

sports

sections is very useful,while others say that it isn't and other measures should be installed.

This

essay will discuss both views and explain my own opinion. On one side of the argument,there are

people

who argue that the number of

sports

facilities leads

citizin

Correct your spelling

citizen

citizens

to go there and it makes them be healthy.

For example

,if there is

gym

Add an article

a gym

the gym

show examples

or swimming pool nearby your neighbourhood,it is convenient for you to go there early in the mornings or after work in the evenings. Others,

however

,think that erecting numerous

sports

facilities isn't enough and it demands quite more finance to build and maintain them.They prefer to introduce awareness programs that promote consuming healthy food,

instead

of fast-food.It is clear that,because of eating a lot of

fast-food

Correct your spelling

fast food

show examples

,nowadays a lot of

people

are suffering from

overweight

Add a missing verb

being overweight

show examples

and it causes a lot of health problems at the same time. One more important thing is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

smoking and

drinkig

Correct your spelling

drinking

alcohol are impacting badly

Change preposition

show examples

our healthy lifestyle.And it is causing multiple illnesses among

people

and even death.So, to diminish the

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

of drunks and smokers,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should impose on shops

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

sell alcohol and smoking products,by forcing them to pay more taxes. In conclusion,increasing

sports

areas can be the best way evolving human's health,but in my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

intaking healthy food and reducing the trade of cigarettes and alcohol products are much more effective and

crutial

Correct your spelling

crucial

than constructing the amount of

sports

facilities.

Submitted by uluga2002 on Wed Dec 01 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

247 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others,however , say that this would have little effect on pyblic health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinoin

Fully explain your ideas

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