Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others,however , say that this would have little effect on pyblic health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinoin

There are argumentative issues among
people
about boosting public health.Some of them
beleives
Correct your spelling
believes
believe
that constructing multiple
sports
sections is very useful,while others say that it isn't and other measures should be installed.
This
essay will discuss both views and explain my own opinion. On one side of the argument,there are
people
who argue that the number of
sports
facilities leads
citizin
Correct your spelling
citizen
citizens
to go there and it makes them be healthy.
For example
,if there is
gym
Add an article
a gym
the gym
show examples
or swimming pool nearby your neighbourhood,it is convenient for you to go there early in the mornings or after work in the evenings. Others,
however
,think that erecting numerous
sports
facilities isn't enough and it demands quite more finance to build and maintain them.They prefer to introduce awareness programs that promote consuming healthy food,
instead
of fast-food.It is clear that,because of eating a lot of
fast-food
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
,nowadays a lot of
people
are suffering from
overweight
Add a missing verb
being overweight
show examples
and it causes a lot of health problems at the same time. One more important thing is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
smoking and
drinkig
Correct your spelling
drinking
alcohol are impacting badly
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
our healthy lifestyle.And it is causing multiple illnesses among
people
and even death.So, to diminish the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
of drunks and smokers,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should impose on shops
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
sell alcohol and smoking products,by forcing them to pay more taxes. In conclusion,increasing
sports
areas can be the best way evolving human's health,but in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
intaking healthy food and reducing the trade of cigarettes and alcohol products are much more effective and
crutial
Correct your spelling
crucial
than constructing the amount of
sports
facilities.
Submitted by uluga2002 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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