IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents for instance sports or music and others are not. however, it is sometimes claimed that any children can be thaught to become a good sports person or musician. discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #talents #sports #music #children #thaught #person #musician
In recent times,it is commonly believed that some individuals are inborn with some natural abilities
for instance
 sport or drama , while some people are claiming that if any
child
 should be taught they
also
 become a better sports person or musician. Both the aspects as well as my opinion can be justified in the
further
 paragraphs. In the former view, some layman's have innate talents.
To begin
 with,I believe that ,more or less it is because of genetics .
For instance
, some traits are common between their parents and
child
. As a
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
result
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some talents are
also
 passed from their parents. It is generally believed that if a father is a doctor
then
 their
child
 has
also
 become the same. In the latter view, that some masses
also
 become
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
well-known people even if , they don't have talents. The reason behind
this
 is that because some children have natural adaptability to learning new things
besides
this
, they have more capabilities than others to fit in any environment. For an instance, if parents are putting their
child
 in music classes or else in the sports club ,
moreover
, with the help of guidance or coaching they become a great musician. In conclusion, I support the latter view because I believe that if children should thaught they
also
 have the capabilities to perform any hard task .
Submitted by patelmihir2146 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: