IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

he two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and 2010.

he two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and 2010.
The given two maps illustrate the
road
Use synonyms
 network around a
City
Use synonyms
 Hospital in 2007 and in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that the
road
Use synonyms
 access to the
city
Use synonyms
 hospital had been upgraded in 2010 with the addition of a
bus
Use synonyms
 station, two roundabouts and a separate public
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
. In 2007, the hospital
road
Use synonyms
, which had three
bus
Use synonyms
 stops on
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
either
side
Use synonyms
, was connected to the
city
Use synonyms
road
Use synonyms
 and to the ring
road
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a common
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 was located on the east
side
Use synonyms
 of the hospital
road
Use synonyms
, and it served both
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 and staff members. In 2010, some significant changes could be seen.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the common
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 was assigned exclusively
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the hospital staff,
while
Linking Words
 a novel public
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 was established on the east
side
Use synonyms
 of the hospital.
Secondly
Linking Words
, two roundabouts had been constructed at both ends of the hospital
road
Use synonyms
; one at the intersection with the ring
road
Use synonyms
 and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 at the
city
Use synonyms
road
Use synonyms
 junction.
Finally
Linking Words
, the three
bus
Use synonyms
 stops on either
side
Use synonyms
 had been removed, and a new
bus
Use synonyms
 station was constructed on the west
side
Use synonyms
 of the hospital
road
Use synonyms
 with connections to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both newly built roundabouts.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words road, city, bus, car, park, side with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • dual carriageway
  • roundabout
  • traffic flow
  • multi-story car park
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian provisions
  • footpaths
  • traffic signals
  • construction phase
  • ambulances
  • carriageway expansion
  • traffic congestion
  • pedestrian crossings
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: