IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think schools should teach students to form good behavior in addition to providing normal education. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #students #form #behavior #addition #education
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In the modern world, numerous individuals believe that schools should provide attitude
lessons
 equally with usual subjects and I partially agree with
this
 statement. The objective of
this
 essay is to examine the positives and negatives of integrating
behaviour
 classes into everyday
lessons
. One of the strongest arguments in favour of adding
behaviour
lessons
 to normal education would be good attitude formation.
In other words
, building a healthy mind from a young age will lead to good relationships with other people.
For example
, in 2008 "Self-acknowledgement" is invented as a subject in schools, where
students
 discuss feelings, kind actions, goods and bad of life.
Consequently
, the integration of
behaviour
 teaching hours into school programmes has been building healthy-minded
students
 who are successful in their lives.
On the other hand
, the major goal of schools would be destroyed, the knowledge that should be taught will not be covered.
This
 means that time for teaching material shortens.
For instance
, one academic hour in school is 45
minutes
, where 10
minutes
 are for introduction and review of content, 20-25
minutes
 are for new material, other 10-15
minutes
 are for practical work, which means that every minute is important for the teacher and
students
.
Hence
, if some academic hour
minutes
 will be given to conducting
behaviour
lessons
 content will not be covered and
students
 fail on the exams. To sum up, all the above-mentioned points illustrate that despite good intentions to form good
behaviour
, the
students
 might face some serious problems in exams.
Submitted by samalkabibolla on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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