IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Nowadays people have adopted an unhealthy lifestyle. Why do you think this is. How could this problem be solved?

#people #lifestyle
Today, it is very common for us to see
people
 living unhealthy lifestyles.
This
 essay will discuss the factors contributing to
this
 trend, followed by measures to address
this
 problem.
This
 issue is caused by several reasons, but the primary reason is work-life pressure . There is no doubt that finding a decent job and securing the position has become increasingly more difficult than before and
this
 forces many employees to work long hours to secure their position. So they can barely squeeze in time to do exercise on weekdays, preferring to collapse in front of the TV on weekends rather than do any physical activities. Another reason that leads to an unhealthy lifestyle is the popularity of junk food. Fast food restaurants, convenience stores and online shopping have made fast food more accessible and appealing than ever before,
thus
 attracting more
people
 to consume them. There are several measures that can be taken to solve
this
 problem. It is necessary for the government to create more jobs with better work-life balance so that
people
’s pressure in the office can be relieved,
thus
 providing them with more free time that can be spent on participating in physical activities. Meanwhile, if there were more easy-to-find sports facilities in the community, more
people
 would be encouraged to use them after work since they do not need to travel to a gym. Individuals should
also
 be encouraged to learn some simple exercises which would only take 5 to 10 minutes to complete at home. As discussed above, competition at work and the popularity of junk foods are the two main reasons resulting in unhealthy lifestyles and
this
 problem can be solved by generating more employment opportunities , constructing more sports facilities and teaching
people
 how to perform simple exercises.
Submitted by lslethan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: