IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

With the rapid development of the internet, new challenges have emerged for individuals and communities. What are the major problems related to internet use, and how can these problems be solved?

It is frequently asserted that the development of the
internet
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 has changed society by allowing people to share and access a wide variety of information.
However
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,
internet
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 access often has
problems
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 that may not appear previously. There are two prominent issues associated with and propose essential solutions to help society address these challenges. Over the past decade, technological advancements have made the
Internet
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 indispensable for communication.
Nevertheless
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, two primary
problems
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 persist. One of the most prevalent is cyberbullying, specifically for youngsters, who are particularly vulnerable to online harassment that often affects their mental health.
For instance
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, it is common for teenagers to face hurtful comments or rumours on social media, which can lead to stress and isolation. Another significant problem is phishing and scams, where cybercriminals target individuals to steal personal information and compromise data security. Often, these criminals misuse
this
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 information to blackmail victims, creating a serious threat to privacy and financial security. An effective solution to address these
problems
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 is to educate the public on safe
internet
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 practices, helping prevent these negative effects. A prime example of
this
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 is parents should be proactive in guiding and monitoring their children’s online activities. Following the first solution, the government's role is crucial in creating rules that avoid
internet
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-based crime. By enhancing cybersecurity measures and blocking illegal websites, authorities can significantly reduce the ubiquity of online scams and protect users. In conclusion, cyberbullying and phishing are two major issues arising from
internet
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 use. Addressing these
problems
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 requires holistic education on
internet
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 safety and active government intervention to reduce
internet
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-related crimes.

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task response
Ensure all key parts of the essay prompt are addressed comprehensively. Consider delving slightly deeper into solutions with more detail or additional examples.
coherence and cohesion
Smoothly connect ideas and sections with more variety in transitional phrases to enhance readability. Organize solutions in direct response to the problems outlined for clearer cohesion between content areas.
task response
The essay identifies two major internet-related issues clearly and provides corresponding solutions, demonstrating a strong understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, each serving their purpose well to frame and finalize the discussion.
task response
Relevant examples, such as cyberbullying in teenagers and the suggestions regarding parental and governmental roles, are well-incorporated to substantiate claims.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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