IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Prison is the best punishment for criminals. Discuss

#prison #punishment #criminals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While our world is being
revolusionized
Correct your spelling
revolutionized
 with great breakthroughs, urgent issue by implementing only
prison
Use synonyms
 as a means of punishment. So far it has been impossible to tackle
this
Linking Words
 urgent issue by implementing
prison
Use synonyms
 as a means of punishment. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss the views about whether
prison
Use synonyms
 is an effective answer or not. Let's begin by looking at the benefits of lockup to help decrease the number of crimes. The major avail of the term "
prison
Use synonyms
" is that it can send an acute impulse unconsciously to the would-be prisoners to deter committing any crimes. Particularly, people in a country which offers capital punishment to serious criminals are appalled with a
prison
Use synonyms
 policy.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
prison
Use synonyms
 can do the worst thing to inmates by depriving them of their freedom. Yet, during their captivity
prison
Use synonyms
 itself can give them the opportunity to study free. In
this
Linking Words
 way, criminals who are aware of the law never do anything against it. Turning to the other side of the argument ,
prison
Use synonyms
 can be a headquarter for educating more dangerous
mobsto
Correct your spelling
mobs to
mobster
commit
Add the particle
to commit
show examples
 far more types of scandals. What I mean by
this
Linking Words
 is that rehabilitating people by capturing in
penitentiary
Add an article
the penitentiary
a penitentiary
show examples
, especially killers, is an unlikely bid.
Also
Linking Words
, murderers may collect their companions with softer illegal actions and introduce
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new ideas about potentially serious offences. At the expense of the long period with their friends, inmates are released back into our society as academics and professors in the criminal world. That's why
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
sometimes confinement is said not to be productive to diminish the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of violations. In my conclusion, I believe
although
Linking Words
 jail sometimes causes to encourage ganglands , its message can conserve people from violating by adopting strict policies.
Submitted by uluga2002 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: