IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are best at or they are more interested in. To what extent do you agree?

#people #teenagers #subjects #school #focus
For some time now, it has been a dual opinion that a segment of people argue that students should study a maximum number of subjects at school while others have a counter-argument that studying all books is are totally waste of time. I agree with the
second
 notion and the following paragraphs will discuss my stance because I believe that number of subjects should be based on their age. To commence with, there are two main key factors to substantiate my perspective against the overburden of youngsters.
Firstly
, if they studied multiple materials
then
 it is quite hard to understand rationally.
As a result
, to succeed in exams, pupils would memorize the content without understanding it thoroughly.
Second
 thing, when there is more to study
then
 it is directly proportional to their concentrating ability. Precisely, If the students have less interest in a course
then
 it would be challenging to concentrate on that particular area.
However
, Ironically, it can not be denied that learning more would not be detrimental to a child's life. In another word, most countries have had all subject areas in their curriculum
such
 as basic science, history and some additional languages which are always an essential necessity for their personal as well as professional growth.
For example
, graduates who have bilingual skills can add
this
 to their resume
consequently
 they can get more chances to work overseas. To conclude, from my point of view, learning more subjects at schools and university will not be more burden until it should not increase pressure on learner's shoulder. To tackle
this
 issue, the government should make a standardized plan which should allow children to study all basics at a certain level of their age. After that, they should have the freedom to choose their favourite field to continue as their career.
Submitted by thilaga.pt88 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: