Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

this

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day and age, there has been debatable which associated with the definition of success. While some

people

Use synonyms

think that each person who earns a lucrative income are considered

Change preposition

apply

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the most successful person, I strongly believe that

people

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who make a great contribution to the community

such

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scientists

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and

teachers

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should be depicted as a symbol of success. On the one hand, there is a host of reasons to woo the idea that wealthy

people

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are most successful. Without a doubt that money bear

relation

Correct article usage

a relation

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tightly to

people

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’s job performance. It is one of the efficient tools to measure a person’s success when they could generate substantial income for themselves. In fact, in

this

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materialistic world, it is true that

people

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who are able to make immense profits for their enterprises or business are considered outstanding

people

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For instance

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, a good lawyer is often paid high salaries because they won many cases and the owners are willing to pay a huge amount of money for his/her expertise.

However

Linking Words

this

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is quite a short-sighted view as it will be likely to incite and promote

people

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to engage in unlawful activities when they earn money at any cost.

On the other hand

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, I think that the contribution made by

scientists

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teachers

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are of the greatest ways to leave a legacy for children.

Firstly

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, those who have to undergo rigorous training education to acquire deeper knowledge to disseminate for other

people

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, are likely to educate children to become talented

people

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to contribute to the nation.Take

teachers

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as a good example, they might not make considerable profits as others, they are still defined as accomplished

people

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since they can teach their students to become good

people

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Furthermore

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people

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who could help the nation to boost to some extent in terms of economy, politics or technology with their contributions should be defined as successful

people

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For example

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scientists

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, have the ability to discover new phenomenons regarding the weather,

thus

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assisting farmers to avoid some bad things for livestock farming In conclusion,

Although

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it is

also

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true to say that individuals who earn high income are the most successful persons, I firmly believe that

scientists

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and

teachers

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or who have tremendous contributions to society are most successful because those things who create could leave a lasting impact and make our life more meaningful.

Dec 2, 2021

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

391 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial prosperity
capitalizing
luxury travel
exclusive experiences
contributions to society
humanitarian workers
lasting impact
highly subjective
cultural, societal, and personal values
comfort and security
deeper personal satisfaction
holistic understanding

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