Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers

this

day and age, there has been debatable which associated with the definition of success. While some

people

think that each person who earns a lucrative income are considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the most successful person, I strongly believe that

people

who make a great contribution to the community

such

scientists

and

teachers

should be depicted as a symbol of success. On the one hand, there is a host of reasons to woo the idea that wealthy

people

are most successful. Without a doubt that money bear

relation

Correct article usage

a relation

show examples

tightly to

people

’s job performance. It is one of the efficient tools to measure a person’s success when they could generate substantial income for themselves. In fact, in

this

materialistic world, it is true that

people

who are able to make immense profits for their enterprises or business are considered outstanding

people

For instance

, a good lawyer is often paid high salaries because they won many cases and the owners are willing to pay a huge amount of money for his/her expertise.

However

this

is quite a short-sighted view as it will be likely to incite and promote

people

to engage in unlawful activities when they earn money at any cost.

On the other hand

, I think that the contribution made by

scientists

teachers

are of the greatest ways to leave a legacy for children.

Firstly

, those who have to undergo rigorous training education to acquire deeper knowledge to disseminate for other

people

, are likely to educate children to become talented

people

to contribute to the nation.Take

teachers

as a good example, they might not make considerable profits as others, they are still defined as accomplished

people

since they can teach their students to become good

people

Furthermore

people

who could help the nation to boost to some extent in terms of economy, politics or technology with their contributions should be defined as successful

people

For example

scientists

, have the ability to discover new phenomenons regarding the weather,

thus

assisting farmers to avoid some bad things for livestock farming In conclusion,

Although

it is

also

true to say that individuals who earn high income are the most successful persons, I firmly believe that

scientists

and

teachers

or who have tremendous contributions to society are most successful because those things who create could leave a lasting impact and make our life more meaningful.

Submitted by chaubachhong1661999 on Thu Dec 02 2021

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

391 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial prosperity
capitalizing
luxury travel
exclusive experiences
contributions to society
humanitarian workers
lasting impact
highly subjective
cultural, societal, and personal values
comfort and security
deeper personal satisfaction
holistic understanding

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Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Word Count

Some experts believe that a second language should be taught at an early age. Do the advantages ouyweigh the disadvantages

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishments should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviours to children?

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With the increased use of computers, the internet, and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.