there are many different types of music in the world today. why do we need music? is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
Various
types
of music
have been made increasingly worldwide and accessible in recent years. It is an undeniable fact that music
is indispensable to our lives for a number of reasons. Whether it is traditional or international, both music
genres play an integral part in today's society. However
, most people
argue that traditional music
is neglected and must given more importance.
To begin
with, the role of music
in human lives is comparatively pivotal and direct. Firstly
, it is completely clear that music
prevents negative and unwanted feelings in many aspects of life. For instance
, those who often get strained and troubled at work can ease their minds with the help of music
. Secondly
, music
plays a vital and huge part in festivals, performances, and events. Without music
, a show could be extremely unfulfilled and dried due to
the lack of sounds and symphonies. Finally
, music
has connected people
all around the world as a sense of unity. For example
, the One Love Manchester concert by Ariana Grande in collaboration with a number of A-list stars has shown the unprecedented power of music
in healing and empowering people
to stand strong after the tragic terrorist attack in Manchester. Therefore
, music
can be concluded to have a giant impact on the general public.
Nevertheless
, traditional and international music
have been recently judged and compared in order to find out which one is more important. Although
both music
types
are preferred and listened to the same extent, it can be seen that traditional music
is more cardinal than global ones. In other words
, undoubtedly some types
of music
prevail across different countries, like pop music
. However
, these types
of international music
lack a sense of cultural identity and historical background, and they can be effortlessly replicated by changing some elements. In contrast
, traditional music
involves authors' clear emotions toward cultural traditions and deep reflection on the current situation of their country. An obvious example of this
is a traditional nursery rhyme which is designed to express warm wishes for children's happy childhoods and prosperous futures.
in conclusion, people
need music
in everyday life and I strongly believe that the role of traditional music
should be valued more than that of international music
.Submitted by Nastaran_zandy on
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task achievement
Ensure your main points are supported with strong examples or explanations. For instance, explaining further how traditional music fosters cultural identity can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Watch for minor grammatical errors and typos, such as capitalizing the first word in your sentences, especially in the conclusion. This helps make your essay look polished and professional.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are well-organized and logically presented, making the overall reading experience smooth and coherent.
task achievement
The examples you included, such as the Manchester concert, effectively illustrate the power and influence of music.
task achievement
Your argument about traditional music having cultural and historical significance is well-stated and compelling.
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