IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

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Despite the agricultural field having developed, the number of people experiencing starvation continues to increase. Various factors contribute to
this
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 issue, but potential solutions can be proposed to address it effectively. One primary reason is the economic issue of underprivileged people. Every year, the prices of necessities become more and more costly, putting them in a difficult situation, so their purchasing power has decreased and caused them to starve.
Additionally
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, some regions experience overproduction and
food
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 wastage,
while
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 others face
food
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 scarcity because of distribution inequity and limited access to resources.
For example
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, there is an overproduction in Europe, but in Africa and some parts of Asia, there are struggles with
food
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 shortages.
However
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, building more efficient and equitable systems can reduce hunger.
Firstly
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, the government should manage an affordable price that adjusts to the residents' capabilities.
For instance
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, there are many Indonesian people who are in the lower-middle class, but the government is importing too much, which affects the uncontrollable rise in market trends.
Secondly
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, focusing on growing crops that can help overcome hunger problems. The government must create public policies regarding suitable large areas, the management, the transportation, and the budget for fairly and globally distributing the results of
food
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 resources. In conclusion, even though the agricultural field has become more advanced, hunger remains a global issue, mainly
due to
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 economic issues and
food
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 inequity.
However
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, there are solutions to fixing the systems,
such
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 as offering reasonable prices and expanding crops, to drive more quantity and improve the quality of human needs.

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task response
To improve your task response, aim to provide a more comprehensive explanation of the factors causing hunger and the proposed solutions. Expand on each main point to give a deeper analysis.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Clarify the connection between causes and solutions to make the essay flow more logically.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure your essay well.
task response
Your essay effectively identifies primary reasons for hunger and suggests solutions, showing a good understanding of the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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