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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #rise #obesity #children
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Some people think that governments are responsible for the rise in
obesity
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 in
heir
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. I totally disagree with
this
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 opinion and the question is "Does the government grow your scion up? ".
Last
Linking Words
 10 years of the period there has been a rise in
obesity
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 for kids and there, but not only in the United States of America and the united kingdom. It has been one of the greatest problems in most of the European countries and over 70 per cent of the United State of American's young kid's population.
Obesity
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 in
children
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 could cause major big health issues like heart disease, it could weaken your immune system and
then
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children
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 easy to catch viruses.
Firstly
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, Governments doesn't own the
children
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, the reason why there is ascend to
obesity
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 in
this
Linking Words
heir
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 is that the parents or the guardian are doesn't take care of the
children
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's good enough. Feeding
heir
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 with junk foods (pizza, chicken, cakes and etc) for dinner is horribly bad for the scion and causes ascent to
obesity
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 in
children
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.
Secondly
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, there is a lot of the reason why there is the ascent to
obesity
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 not just because of junk food, the
heir
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 who got fat genes no matter what no-one can fix genes, the
second
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 reason is bad sleeping it could depend on anything,
third
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 lack of activities having calories and fats more than they can burn. In ,conclusion the parents and others are responsible for the ascent to
obesity
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 in the scion, the genes and lack of movements
Submitted by DUKO6182 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • policies
  • responsibility
  • health and well-being
  • education and awareness programs
  • childhood obesity
  • food advertising and labeling
  • unhealthy food
  • supportive environments
  • recreational facilities
  • collaboration
  • healthcare providers
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