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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
The line graphs illustrate the variation in
ownership
Use synonyms
 of house electrical devices and the number of hours of housework in
households
Use synonyms
 in one country
during
Change preposition
between
show examples
 1920 and 2019. In general, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen from the charts, it is absolutely obvious that there was an upward
trend
Use synonyms
 regarding electrical appliances during
this
Linking Words
 99-year period.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to
ownership
Use synonyms
 of electrical devices, there was a downward
trend
Use synonyms
 in terms of the amount of time spent doing housework in
households
Use synonyms
. In relation to the percentage of
households
Use synonyms
 with electrical appliances, at first, in the year 1920, 40% of people had washing machines which
this
Linking Words
 amount
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 refrigerators and vacuum clears were 30% and nearly 0%, respectively. In detail, having refrigerators
among
Change preposition
in
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households
Use synonyms
 experienced an explosion from 1920 to 1960 and reached a plateau
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 100% in 1980.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
ownership
Use synonyms
 of vacuum cleaners saw steady growth from 1920 to 2000 and at 2000 level off at 100%. At
last
Linking Words
, the
ownership
Use synonyms
 of washing machines had a slightly increasing
trend
Use synonyms
 from 40% to just over 70% during these years.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 at first the
Use synonyms
households
Correct quantifier usage
number of households
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 who possess
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
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 were the lowest, it became the first place just after the year 1960. The only decrease during these years was related to
ownership
Use synonyms
 of washing machines which experienced a shallow decline from 1960 to 1980. In terms of the other line graph, the number of hours spent doing housework in
households
Use synonyms
 plummet significantly from 1920 to 1960 and
then
Linking Words
 from 1960 to 2019 the decreasing
trend
Use synonyms
 was slow.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words ownership, households, trend with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • electrical appliances
  • housework
  • time frame
  • variables
  • trends
  • significant milestones
  • turning points
  • correlation
  • reduction
  • influenced
  • societal implications
  • quality of life
  • gender roles
  • economic implications
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