Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters hat affect them. Discuss both and give your own opinion.
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Many people say that we should allow
children
to make their own choices in day-to-day activities such
as clothes ,food and watching television programs make them self-oriented. While
other people think making their own decisions would help them be independent and more confident . In this
essay,I will discuss both views with some examples from newspapers and journals and give my opinion.
To begin
with ,Nowadays, children
are very smart and independent they always want to do everything as per their wish because of a few reasons . Firstly
, young kids are spending more and more time on the Internet such
as social sites and watching TV. Even though they are taking their academic classes online it is helpful for them to learn many good things. In addition
, these days fathers and mothers both are working to have a better living of
standard in society. Change preposition
apply
For Example
,a recent survey done by the Times of India revealed that in Japan 80% of young children
are making decisions on their own and they are extremely happy and living joyful independent lives. As a result
, Japan is one of the most developed countries in the entire world and holds a top economy too.
On the other hand
, As teenagers age is growing
age and Wrong verb form
,
children
are not mature enough to make the right decision every time. Parents should help and advise them if they are on the wrong path. For example
,My neighbour's son is in 10th class and he wants to pursue his studies in Art as a main subject in his higher classes because of his friends .Therefore
,he is very good at maths. After his parents and teacher counselling him then
he agrees to Maths as a core subject.
To conclude
, In my opinion, we should allow children
to make their own decisions then
only they become independent , confident and task achievers in their life but parents should monitor whether they have made the right decision or not.Submitted by preetiaug25 on
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coherence cohesion
While your essay provides a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, the logical flow of ideas could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that subsequent sentences build upon it to enhance understanding. Transition smoothly between ideas and use a range of linking devices effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed the task by discussing both views and giving your own opinion, but your argument could be more fully developed. Provide more detailed reasoning, offer further elaboration, and include a wider range of relevant, specific examples to strengthen your essay. Ensure that the examples you provide are directly related to the main argument in each paragraph.
