IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Are there more advantages to living in a city than in the country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Whether
cities
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 are better than rural
areas
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 or vice-versa is a contentious question, it depends on one's choice, as to, what they prefer. Both
cities
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 and rural
areas
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 have their pros and cons. Rural
areas
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 have quaint environments
whereas
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 there is always something fascinating about big
cities
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. In my opinion, the answer to the question “Are there more advantages to living in a city than in the country?” is not like one shoe fit for all, it’s a totally subjective choice.
Cities
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 generally have better infrastructure, education systems and advanced
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
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 facilities.
In addition
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 to
this
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,
cities
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 have more job opportunities and business growth.
For instance
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,
according to
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 the survey of a report of a renowned magazine, inhabitants of megacities are more economically strong as compared to
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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 of urban
areas
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. Another worthwhile argument in
this
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 context is that urban
areas
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 are more exposed to technological advancement. Whenever a new technology is introduced it is first implemented in
cities
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 and usually two or three years later in the rural
areas
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.
For example
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, when the cellular phone was introduced in Pakistan, transmitting towers were first installed in the
cities
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.
On the other hand
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, village life has its own perks. Villagers are closer to nature and they spend their lives in a more natural way. Recently I was reading a book and it
reveals
Wrong verb form
revealed
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 some surprising fact which was “people who live in
Correct article usage
the countrysides
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countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
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 have more life expectancy than in an urban area”.
Furthermore
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,
living
Correct article usage
the living
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 cost in the countryside is much
lesser
Correct word choice
lower
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 than that of the city.
Therefore
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, there is less economic pressure on them. To encapsulate, both
cities
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 and rural
areas
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 have their own charms and no one can simply compare them as it depends upon the personal choice and nature of the specific person.
However
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, there should be a proper mechanism to facilitate the rural
areas
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 so that massive migration can be controlled.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents the topic well, but try to make your thesis statement more precise. Consider simplifying the sentence to clearly state your position on the advantages of living in a city versus the countryside.
coherence and cohesion
In your body paragraphs, ensure each point directly supports your argument and is clearly linked to the thesis. This could enhance the clarity of your stance.
task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your points. For instance, discussing specific cities or rural areas could provide more depth and make your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
You effectively acknowledge both sides of the argument, which is commendable and shows a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures, enhancing the overall quality of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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