The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The new
technology
available
Add a missing verb
is available
show examples
all
Change preposition
to all
show examples
people
but there are
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
connect of
Correct article usage
the condition
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
as like the rich and the poor. In my
opinions
Fix the agreement mistake
opinion
show examples
, the range of
technology
is different, so if we take
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
model telephone,
last
Change the article
the last
show examples
version can buy only the rich
people
, but the poor
people
too
Replace the word
to
show examples
have
telephone
Add an article
a telephone
show examples
but with less memory and without any function.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other hand,
firstly
there are new
technology
buy the rich
people
for example
if
Iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
is advertising
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
version all
people
who have many
tenge
Change to a plural noun
tenges
show examples
go and
harryup
Correct your spelling
hurry up
harry up
nuy
Correct your spelling
my
buy
new telephone.
Secondly
when rich
womanon
Correct your spelling
woman on
woman
TV see new
technology
in
kinchen
Correct your spelling
kitchen
Kinchen
as like gase store, in
fact
Add the comma(s)
,fact
show examples
they
want
Add the particle
towant
show examples
buy
this things
Change the determiner
this thing
these things
show examples
.
Thirdly
, children of rich
people
stdying
Correct your spelling
studying
dying
of school on
lesson
Add an article
the lesson
show examples
they see
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
model of watch their schoolchildren, actually they ask their parents to buy that watch.
The
Change preposition
On the
show examples
other hand, we can notice the
porr
Correct your spelling
poor
people
don't buy
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
expensive things.
Firstly
, all
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
connect with money. Any factors influence that
condition
, some poor peoples have
problem
with health and they don't work.
For example
, if they have
problem
Correct article usage
a problem
show examples
with
eyes
Correct pronoun usage
their eyes
show examples
in fact don't change
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
.
Secondly
, now I knew some
famaliyes
Correct your spelling
families
have
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
with elder parents or
yanger
Correct your spelling
younger
children have
Add an article
a problem
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, the new
technology
available to
people
all
condition
all
connect
Change the verb form
connects
show examples
of mind
condition
.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: