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Band 3.5

The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#range #technology #people #gap #effect
The new
technology
available
Add a missing verb
is available
show examples
all
Change preposition
to all
show examples
people
 but there are
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
 connect of
Correct article usage
the condition
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 as like the rich and the poor. In my
opinions
Fix the agreement mistake
opinion
show examples
, the range of
technology
 is different, so if we take
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 model telephone,
last
Change the article
the last
show examples
 version can buy only the rich
people
, but the poor
people
too
Replace the word
to
show examples
 have
telephone
Add an article
a telephone
show examples
 but with less memory and without any function.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand,
firstly
 there are new
technology
 buy the rich
people
for example
 if
Iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
 is advertising
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 version all
people
 who have many
tenge
Change to a plural noun
tenges
show examples
 go and
harryup
Correct your spelling
hurry up
harry up
nuy
Correct your spelling
my
buy
 new telephone.
Secondly
 when rich
womanon
Correct your spelling
woman on
woman
 TV see new
technology
 in
kinchen
Correct your spelling
kitchen
Kinchen
 as like gase store, in
fact
Add the comma(s)
,fact
show examples
 they
want
Add the particle
towant
show examples
 buy
this things
Change the determiner
this thing
these things
show examples
.
Thirdly
, children of rich
people
stdying
Correct your spelling
studying
dying
 of school on
lesson
Add an article
the lesson
show examples
 they see
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 model of watch their schoolchildren, actually they ask their parents to buy that watch.
The
Change preposition
On the
show examples
 other hand, we can notice the
porr
Correct your spelling
poor
people
 don't buy
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
expensive things.
Firstly
, all
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 connect with money. Any factors influence that
condition
, some poor peoples have
problem
 with health and they don't work.
For example
, if they have
problem
Correct article usage
a problem
show examples
 with
eyes
Correct pronoun usage
their eyes
show examples
 in fact don't change
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
.
Secondly
, now I knew some
famaliyes
Correct your spelling
families
 have
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 with elder parents or
yanger
Correct your spelling
younger
 children have
Add an article
a problem
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, the new
technology
 available to
people
 all
condition
 all
connect
Change the verb form
connects
show examples
 of mind
condition
.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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