IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #prison #education
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The ones consider that imprisoning is not a suitable way to cope with evil, whereas, it is deemed that there are more possible ways of depleting the rate of criminals like educating or training them.
However
Linking Words
, it is believed that the notion regarding information and training should be valued than incarceration for some reasons which will be discussed now.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, it is widely claimed that sending criminals to jail appears to be responsible for maintaining security and peace. Another advantage of utilizing incarceration is that it will deter residents from committing even minor misconduct in the future.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, it is argued that the ones sent to jail may join to criminal gang there. Having fulfilled the penalty those groups may commit severe corruption
such
Linking Words
 as murder or terrorism.The
next
Linking Words
 drawback of prison is that prison records make it hard to get a job on release,
hence
Linking Words
,it can be an asset for leading back into lawbreaking.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the opponents of prison point out that the government is to look up other appropriate ways of declining lawbreakings. The government is advised to rehabilitate offenders through training or scholarship programs. It is notable that through formal study the lawbreakers can be brought back to life and motivated to start their life again.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, more educational attainment leads to higher earnings and
thus
Linking Words
 would diminish the crime rates. Albeit being taught, some individuals commit cases since literacy requires more time and effort. According to the facts and factors provided above, It is believed to be that educational programs and training can prevent offenders from lawbreaking and rehabilitate them.
Submitted by uluga2002 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: