IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Global warming is one of the most serious issue that the world is facing today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures can government s and individuals take to tackle the issues?

One
Use synonyms
 of the affairs that the world is involved with is Global warming.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the problematic reasons are food and deforestation,
Linking Words
secondly
Add a comma
,secondly
show examples
 governments should
change
Use synonyms
 some related laws and
also
Linking Words
 people should follow the new regulations.
One
Use synonyms
 of the crucial issues is
problem
Add an article
the problem
a problem
show examples
 of
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
 caused by food production.The process of modern
food stuffs
Correct your spelling
foodstuffs
show examples
 manufacturing that requires fertilizers has become a new way to accommodate foodchains since human beings
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 changed.
For instance
Linking Words
, each year rice releases too much Methane
that is
Linking Words
 equivalent to the air traffic does. The rise in consumption of meat as a wealth product leads to more factory farming and industrial activities.
In addition
Linking Words
, if we still lived traditionally we could have more farms and forests to suck carbon of atmosphere
instead
Linking Words
 of using them
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to feed animals. The
second
Linking Words
 vital cause is cutting the forests down. Trees that are cut emit the carbon they have been storing, which is converted to urban use to have
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier life but no
one
Use synonyms
pay
Change the verb form
pays
show examples
 enough attention to the habitat damage
this
Linking Words
 may have. It causes
Carbondioxide
Correct your spelling
Carbon dioxide
 to linger in the atmosphere that makes a layer
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 will trap radiation from the sun and you see the result by heat. What is expected from politicians is to
change
Use synonyms
 some rules, and act in a way that let others
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
trust them. If they invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 modifying the industries, it will be a trigger for others. So they will be inspired and try to
change
Use synonyms
 their technology.
One
Use synonyms
 of them is
carbon
Correct article usage
a carbon
show examples
 capture system that may need a team to work on, and
also
Linking Words
 a budget that factories can not undertake lonely. Another useful approach is regrowing the lands that are
ruiened
Correct your spelling
ruined
. If they enforce a law that forces people to pay
fine
Fix the agreement mistake
fines
show examples
inexchange
Correct your spelling
in exchange
 for destructing the lands, they will never continue
this
Linking Words
 action.
Also
Linking Words
, it should be a limitation in
nourishment
Add an article
the nourishment
show examples
 of animals
thus
Linking Words
 humans will
change
Use synonyms
 their lifestyle and eat less meat so there is no need to replace jungles with a feeding resource for cows or other species. The result is
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 emissions and dry places won't get dryer or the wet ones won't get water. In conclusion, the foods people choose to have in their meals and
also
Linking Words
 ruining the forests to make lands or buildings are the most important causes of global warming, and if governments address the society to
change
Use synonyms
 their lifestyle and
also
Linking Words
 spend some money on modifying some manufacturing systems will help to
change
Use synonyms
 the situation of the Earth.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • burning of fossil fuels
  • greenhouse gases
  • trap heat
  • atmosphere
  • deforestation
  • carbon dioxide
  • greenhouse effect
  • industrial activities
  • agricultural practices
  • carbon emissions
  • renewable energy
  • environmental regulations
  • energy efficiency
  • carbon footprint
  • lifestyle changes
  • public transportation
  • recycling
  • conserving energy
  • LED bulbs
  • plant-based diet
  • raising awareness
  • sustainable practices
  • international cooperation
  • Paris Agreement
  • mitigate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: