Some people believe that individuals who earn a lot of money are the most successful. Others say that the individuals who contribute to the society (such as scientists or teachers) are the most successful. 🔸Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers #🔸discuss

Success

means different things to various people. How it can be measured is debatable. While some individuals believe that those who have huge earnings are more successful, others think that

scientists

and teachers who work for the benefit of everyone should be considered the most successful. I concur with the latter and

this

essay would be describing the two views in detail. On the

one

hand, people who are in favour of

success

being

Change the form of the verb

show examples

attributed to how much money

one

has in the bank do so because of the lavish lifestyle they show off. Usually, they drive the best of cars, live in very huge mansions ,attend celebrity parties and update their profiles on social media for all to see. Meanwhile , a good number of them are miserable from divorces to cheating on spouses,

in addition

to overindulgence in alcohol/drugs . In 2012, research showed that divorce and separation were more likely to occur among celebrities compared to individuals who are not in the spotlight. The amount of money

one

has should not be a measure of his/her

success

as we only get to see the external features and not the internal ones.

On the other hand

, the enormous development and advancement seen in the world today

Change the verb form

are

show examples

largely due to the effort and contribution of teachers and

scientists

. People in these professions work round the clock to ensure the world is a better place. While teachers strive to impact knowledge right from elementary level to postgraduate education,

scientists

are daily striving to make new discoveries for our adaptation and advancement. A good example would be the break out of the Covid-19 virus. Since the beginning of

this

pandemic ,

scientists

have been trying to find out ways to understand the virus and develop vaccines against it. In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

they should be considered as successful for their immense and sacrificial contribution to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. To conclude,

although

success

can be defined by the amount of money

one

makes, it is important to

also

consider the individual's contribution to society which for me is greater

success

Submitted by ijeomaonwere on Fri Dec 03 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

347 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that individuals who earn a lot of money are the most successful. Others say that the individuals who contribute to the society (such as scientists or teachers) are the most successful. 🔸Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Task 2: What can be done to maintain biodiversity?

Write a letter to the hotel, making the arrangements. In your letter •tell them when you will be arriving and leaving •explain what type of rooms you would like, and ask how much the weekend will cost •ask about activities and places of interest near the hotel

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that schoolchildren should do their class work individually. Other people believe that sometimes class work should be done in small groups. Discuss both views and give your opinion.