IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Employers should not be concerned about the way their employees dress at work. They should only care about the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is undeniable that in the era of humanities, more and more managers are not interested in dressing employees' jobs.
While
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 they are only concerned with the
quality
Use synonyms
 of performance. From
this
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 perspective, both sides play essential roles in their work lives because the two conditions have an efficient vision. Ergo,
this
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 essay will highlight the reasons and benefits of both arguments, and I
also
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 mention my viewpoint in the following paragraphs, by providing relevant examples and insights. On the one hand,it is no denying that uniform dress plays a crucial role in modern society. What is more, several employers are interested in the phenomenon because the residents have an awareness of the company. To illustrate more,
this
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 trend will lower the danger to these members of the community.
For example
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, Nama company in Oman has to wear a uniform jacket, especially at night during job
due to
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 citizens being afraid of strangers and people who work in front of their accommodations.
Thus
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, the outcome of
this
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 situation avoids risks.
On the other hand
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, there are numerous advantages which directly linked to
this
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 alarming case. The first and foremost benefit to concerned about
quality
Use synonyms
 is that accomplishes the highest success in the environmental occupation. To demonstrate more, individuals have enough experience to achieve several goals per year.
For instance
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, the Omani Educational Associate indicated that 85% of employers in Gulf countries have large fractions of achievements per month,
by contrast
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, other companies let
quality
Use synonyms
 be the
last
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 option. As a sequence,
this
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 event could Definitely improve the event. In conclusion, no doubt in the neck to neck of competition, both ways are essential in
this
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 era and each one is completely other.
However
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, I assert dress and
quality
Use synonyms
 work are important in acquiring a variety of skills in the whole field.
Therefore
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,
this
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 event can be lessened by immediate steps by the companies and citizens.

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Task Response
Clarify your thesis statement to ensure it distinctly presents your perspective on the topic and outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider breaking down your paragraphs further to improve structure and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
Task Response
Improve the clarity of examples presented to strengthen your arguments and ensure they are directly tied to the points being made.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to better connect ideas within and between paragraphs for improved flow.
Task Response
You presented both sides of the argument, which helps demonstrate an understanding of the topic's complexity.
Task Response
Your essay contains some relevant examples that illustrate your main points, which adds depth to your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Dress code
  • Professional appearance
  • Corporate culture
  • Freedom of expression
  • Productivity
  • Discrimination
  • Inclusivity
  • Diversity
  • Industry standards
  • Safety regulations
  • Employee morale
  • Job satisfaction
  • Attire
  • Corporate identity
  • Gender identity
  • Cultural sensitivity
  • Workplace norms
  • Employee well-being
  • Business etiquette
  • Professional conduct
What to do next:
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