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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that nowadays children have too much freedom. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #freedom
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Some individuals hold an inclination that child, in the contemporary era, is accessing more
freedom
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 than ever before. If questioned, I firmly agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
such
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 a notion. My preference is justified
further
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 in the subsequent paragraphs. Several underlying reasons could be attributed
for
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to
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 my statement, the first and foremost is parenting traditions.
In other words
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, parents are providing
freedom
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 which was not used to done by them 3-4 decades ago
due to
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higher
Correct article usage
the higher
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 illiteracy rate among them. The educated parents of
today
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 understand
,
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apply
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the room and time
children
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 need for their personal development.
Besides
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this
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, technology has
also
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 played a major role
behind
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in
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this
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 trend. A half of
century
Correct article usage
a century
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 ago, civilians did not have certain gadgets or network technology through which they
can
Verb problem
could be
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 aware of new things or activities conveniently. The only source for external things they had
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 either their surroundings or
newspaper
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newspapers
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.
As a result
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, they were unable to change their typical parenting mentality following the skills. Another reason in
this
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 regard is
educational
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the educational
an educational
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 system. The practices which used to occur in the past times to gain primary knowledge or even higher education
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 quite different than
today
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. To elaborate, The teachers previously were allowed to punish or beat a kid for their hazardous behaviour or exceptionable acts.
This
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 attitude of tutors
is
Verb problem
has
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 vanished in
present
Correct article usage
the present
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 time because it is considered as a violent or unpleasant step for
children
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.
Resulting
Wrong verb form
As a result
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, kids of
today
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 are not fearful of their educators
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
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 them higher level of
freedom
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.
On the contrary
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,
this
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 may not be so always, because
proportion
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the proportion
a proportion
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 of variability seems higher. As per one article published in 2019, out of 100
%
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%,
show examples
only 5% of parents had little high concern towards their
children
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 which makes them stricter.
To conclude
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,
although
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 there are certain studies that
contradicts
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contradict
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 the phenomena of
children
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 having more
freedom
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today
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. My view on
this
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 is optimistic because of evolving civilization
along with
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 technology
such
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 as
Internet
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the Internet
show examples
.
Submitted by vihit007 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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