IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Air traffic is increasing leading to more noise, pollution and airport construction. One reason for this is growth in low cost passenger flights often to holiday Destinations. Some people say that government should try to reduce air traffic by taxing is more heavily Do you agree or disagree?

#air #traffic #noise #pollution #airport #construction #reason #growth #cost #passenger #flights #holiday #destinations #people #government
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It is a contentious issue whether we should limit
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 by plains or not. Some think that it is the
governments'
Change noun form
government's
show examples
 responsibility to downturn the growing tendency of low-cost flights. In
this
 essay, I will elaborate on
this
 subject and share my own opinion.
To begin
 with, I am not in favour of taxing any type of transportation. Nowadays, some are required to travel abroad because of their job. Others want to rest and spend holidays abroad. No matter what is the reason, we should have a right to choose the type of transportation not only because it is our right, but
also
 because we have our own responsibilities that sometimes require
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
show examples
 be in a specific country as soon as possible.
On the other hand
, there are various disadvantages of the air transport.
For instance
, it increases noise, pollution and airport spending.
Therefore
, many
people
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that it is more beneficial to travel by car rather than by plain. I agree with
this
 point of view;
however
,
that is
 not a good reason to be banned from having a choice. The solution is to educate
people
instead
 of taxing
people
. If we properly taught
people
, they would have been more responsible with how often they choose it.
To sum up
, I strongly opt for not putting the responsibility on politics. It is fully a human's task to take care of the planet. Forcing usually brings negative results. Especially currently, when we really need to travel as quickly as possible rather than save on fuel.
Submitted by Aga on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and relatable to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Aim for a clearer logical flow between your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph follows smoothly from the last and clearly supports your thesis.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your conclusion to summarize the main points discussed in your essay more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt effectively by discussing both benefits and drawbacks of taxing air travel.
overall language use
Your essay demonstrates a good command of English with appropriate vocabulary and grammar, which helps convey your ideas clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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