Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In contemporary society, there is a debate over whether
children
should be allowed to make their own choices
on everyday matters such
as food, clothes, and entertainment. Some argue that this
may lead to a self-centred society, while
others believe it is crucial for children
’s development. This
essay will discuss both perspectives and present my own view.
One concern is that allowing children
to make their own choices
may foster selfish behaviour. When children
are given too much autonomy, they might prioritise their desires over others' needs, leading to a lack of social responsibility. For instance
, if a child is always allowed to decide what to eat or wear, they may become accustomed to having their way and struggle to compromise or consider others' preferences. This
could result in adults who are ill-equipped to work in teams or contribute positively to society, as they have grown up focusing solely on their personal satisfaction.
Conversely
, permitting children
to make decisions about matters that affect them is essential for their personal growth and independence. Decision-making is a critical skill that children
need to develop from a young age. By making their own choices
, children
learn to weigh options, consider consequences, and take responsibility for their actions. For example
, choosing their clothes helps them express their identity and develop a sense of personal style,
Remove the comma
apply
while
deciding on their entertainment can teach them time management and discernment.
In my view, a balanced approach is optimal. Children
should be allowed to make choices
within a structured framework set by parents and educators. This
ensures that they develop independence and decision-making skills without becoming overly self-centred. For instance
, parents can offer a limited selection of healthy foods for children
to choose from, or set boundaries around screen time while
allowing children
to pick their preferred activities within those limits.
In conclusion, while
there are valid concerns about fostering selfishness, allowing children
to make decisions about their daily lives is crucial for their development. By providing a supportive environment with appropriate boundaries, we can help children
grow into responsible and considerate adults.Submitted by 876764430 on
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task achievement
You have provided a thorough discussion of both perspectives on the topic, which shows a high level of understanding. However, including a wider range of specific examples to support each point could enhance your arguments.
coherence cohesion
To achieve even better coherence, try to use a greater variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, and the introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported and explained, showing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your balanced approach in the final paragraph adds depth to your response and shows critical thinking.
task achievement
You've successfully maintained clarity and relevance throughout the essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite