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Writing Samples
Band 7

Most countries want to improve the standard of living through economic development, however, others think social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #development #value
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Economic development is now the way that many countries choose to improve social
life
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 but a school of thought holds that the true value of social is missed. From my perspective, the detrimental effects seem to outweigh the benefits
although
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 it still provides several achievements. Everyone wants a
life
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 of beatitude and
money
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 is one of the key factors that will help them so it is necessary to commence an economical campaign to support the people who want a better future. For that reason, some nations have started to use economics to develop their countries and the result is worthy. After
this
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 period we will see that in the street there is no tramp, children with tattered clothes and haggard faces, the living standard will increase and they can approach with many advanced conditions from medical, education to politics and facilities either. Notwithstanding the advantages above,
money
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 can
also
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 be the root of all evil for these reasons. Because they all hope for a vast increase in the economy so they will only focus on
this
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 sector they the work they do is only profit-oriented. Here is the problem when people try to gain possession of
money
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; they accidentally forget the means of their
life
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, the job that they were delegated are not help them to find their living purposes and for a long time they might be lost under these circumstances.
Furthermore
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, when people are captivated by
money
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, it seems to be easy to act illegally.
For instance
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, some countries have accomplished their economic development but after the threshold, many corruptions and bribery have been exposed to social and the real value of these illicit works can give these crimes an extravagant
life
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. In conclusion, it is true to ameliorate the living standard through economic development ,,
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however
Add a comma
,however
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 we have to control it because if there is a small spark, the benefits it brings cannot conceal the detriments.
Submitted by jakedth162 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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