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Band 5.5

Some people say that punishment is the best way to teach children to behave well, while others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #punishment #children #point
The best method to instil discipline in a
child
 has become a hot topic in today's world.
While
 some people think that punishing a
child
 is the most effective approach to discipline, others believe that the act of rewarding and praising may work better. I concur with the latter notion and
this
 essay
would be explaining
Wrong verb form
will explain
show examples
 both sides in detail citing relevant examples. On the one hand, the main reason why some individuals think that some sort of physical punishment may be a great way to ensure a
child
 behaves well is that he/ she will find it difficult to forget the consequences of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad behaviour
hence
, it would serve as a deterrent.
For example
, a young person who is put on time out or smacked on the buttocks for telling lies would not easily forget the experience
as a result
 is very unlikely to repeat
such
 behaviour.
On the other hand
, those in favour of rewarding and praising a
child
 might do so on the basis that some people are abusing
children
 physically all in the name of teaching good behaviour.
For instance
,in some African countries, some
children
 are left with humongous bruises on their bodies by guardians for behaving badly, leading to permanent scars and psychological trauma.
Furthermore
, they may argue that giving a
child
 a treat or praising would encourage a good attitude thereby reducing the bad ones. In conclusion,
although
 rewarding and praising
children
 may be a good approach to
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
children
 to behave well, I am of the opinion that punishing a
child
 in an age-appropriate way is the most effective approach to
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
 a
child
 to behave well
Submitted by ijeomaonwere on

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Structure
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Your main points should consistently relate back to the question prompt and your opinion.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion appear present, but they can be improved to more explicitly state the thesis and summarize the main arguments.
Support & Examples
Support your main points with more developed examples and explanations. While examples are present, they could be further elaborated to strengthen your argument.
Task Response
Address the task fully, ensuring that you discuss both views in a balanced manner and clearly present your own opinion throughout the essay, not just the conclusion.
Idea Development
Avoid general statements and strive to present more clear and comprehensive ideas that develop your argument in a more persuasive manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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