IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Rich people often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Comments about the task: 1. An opinion essay 2. You must say how much you agree or disagree 3. Totally agree 4. Corruption 5. Bad economic policies Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #money #countries #poverty #aid #comments #corruption #policies
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Underdeveloped
countries
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 are often supported by rich
countries
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 in terms of
money
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, ,
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however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it is not the solution for poverty.
Consequently
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,
countries
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 that are developed should give other support
instead
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 of providing financial aid. I completely agree with
this
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 notion.
First
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 of all, there is a famous saying from the His Highness the Aga Khan that if you want to help a person who needs your support
then
Linking Words
 it would be better if you make them learn a skill rather than giving funds because
money
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 is a materialistic thing which is only for a limited time but skill will always remain with a person until he dies. In my view,
firstly
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, developed
countries
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 should support poor
countries
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 related to education. I think illiteracy is the root cause of poverty. The government of rich
countries
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 must hire some of the professionals who would go to various
countries
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 in order to provide services and educate the people who are illiterate.
As a result
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,
this
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 chain will go on,
hence
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 the issue of poverty would be solved.
Secondly
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, the people from developed
countries
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 came to underdeveloped
countries
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 due to which they will have an exchange of
money
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.
Thus
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 the currency rate will increase. The political parties of poor
countries
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 would utilize
this
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money
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 in the construction of variety to tourist facilities. When the
money
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 will exchange
then
Linking Words
 they can build schools, colleges, health centres for the better life quality of people. At
last
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, I want to conclude that the worldwide
countries
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 which have the power to assist regions that are underdeveloped
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should give several assistance rather than financial assistance.
Submitted by sanireimoo on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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