IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think money is the best gift to give youngsters, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #gift #youngsters
Gifts play an important role in making individuals feel happy and satisfied. While some people are of the view that money is the best present to give youngsters, others are of a different view. In
this
 essay, I will be discussing both the views and state my opinion
that is
 presents of various kinds makes teenagers happier. There are two primary reasons for
this
.
To begin
 with, money makes individuals happy as it helps them to satisfy their needs.
Additionally
, every teenager has a different requirement in their life and
hence
 by giving gifts
such
 as cheques, cash to name a few gives the chance to purchase what they want.
For instance
, a recent study done in India showed that kids who got money as their birthday gift were more contented and satisfied.
Subsequently
,
this
 helps to make their day a memorable one.
On the other hand
,
although
 giving cash is the best gift to youngsters, some people think that other presents
such
 as laptops, watches, play stations to name a few become more useful to them.
Moreover
, youths do not know how to make the maximum utilization of currency.
For example
, when a child is gifted with a laptop he can make the best use of it as it will be helpful for him to use in his daily studies and activities.
Hence
, they start using it on an everyday basis efficiently. By way of conclusion, I reaffirm my position that
although
 presenting youths with cash is the best gift when some physical thing is given it helps to make the best use of it.
Submitted by zararaasif43 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: