IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is generally discussed that males and
females
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 possess various types of skills so
both
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 of these genders are specialised in certain professions. I partially agree with
this
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 statement for some reasons. To start with, as
men
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 are much stronger and fitter by nature compared to
women
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, there are some
jobs
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 that
females
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 cannot fulfil
such
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 as miners, builders, porters, truckers and so on. I mean that
such
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work
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 requires a lot of energy, strength
as well as
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 endurance.
That is
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 why,
women
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 are incapable of doing heavy
work
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.
However
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, I can freely say that
females
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 are much more suitable for particular
jobs
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 that
men
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 are unable to manage like nannies, cleaners, nurses, tailors, etc. Namely, they have been involved in
such
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 kinds of professions for centuries. In our country Uzbekistan,
for example
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, only a woman can
work
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 as a nanny in kindergartens since they have more roles in children's behavior rather than
men
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.
Nevertheless
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, in our modern society, there are several
jobs
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 that
both
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 males and
females
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 might be able to accomplish.
For instance
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, in most countries,
men
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 and
women
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 can
work
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 as doctors, teachers and other universal professions as
both
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 of them have the same qualities in these
jobs
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such
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 as being creative, skilful, knowledgeable and experienced.
In addition
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 to
this
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, owing to gender equality, which is being promoted throughout the world,
women
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 can
work
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 as officials in the government. To take an example, a middle-aged lady is the president of Croatia and runs the country well. In conclusion, I strongly believe that it is not a good idea to separate
jobs
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 for males or
females
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 as
both
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 can do their best in any occupation.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Your argument is well-structured and progresses logically, making it easy for the reader to follow. Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence to enhance understanding.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with more varied examples from different contexts or countries, if possible, to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your opinion is consistently clear throughout your essay. If you partially agree or disagree, clarify how and why throughout, not just in the conclusion.
Content
You have provided a balanced view by discussing strengths and abilities of both men and women in different professions, which enriches your argument.
Supporting Details
The use of specific examples, like the president of Croatia, adds relevance and specificity to your arguments, making them more convincing.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your view, enhancing the coherence of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
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