IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #museums #places #purpose
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Some
people
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 argue that
museums
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 ought to be a place for recreational
purposes
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, while others argue that
museums
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 ought to be used solely for educating
people
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.
Museums
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 can be used to attract
tourists
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 which will benefit the country in the end as it can flourish the economy.
In contrast
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,
museums
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 are imperative to educate the public about their
art
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,
history
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 and
culture
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. In my opinion,
museums
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 should be used for both educational and entertainment
purposes
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.
To begin
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 with,
museums
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 attract numerous
tourists
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 from all around the globe. From an economic perspective,
museums
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 generate job opportunities in the market and contribute to the growth of the local economy because of
tourists
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, which will benefit the nation in the end. A museum where
people
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 could enjoy and entertain attracts more
people
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 than other
museums
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. There are
museums
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 where it is not only about
history
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 or
art
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,
such
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 as the kimchi museum in South Korea and the chocolate museum in Belgium.
Hence
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, since these
museums
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 are quite popular among international
tourists
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,
museums
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 should be a place to entertain
people
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.
On the contrary
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,
museums
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 play a crucial role in educating the public about
art
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,
history
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, science,
culture
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 among others.
Moreover
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, it is imperative for educating future generations about their
history
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,
culture
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 and roots.
Thus
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,
museums
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 are undoubtedly a huge source of knowledge, so
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 ought to be solely used for educational
purposes
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. In conclusion,
museums
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 and entertainment purpose both for educational and entertainment
purposes
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. From an economic point of view, enjoyable
museums
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 attract a significant number of
tourists
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 which will eventually benefit the country, while it is
also
Linking Words
 a huge source of knowledge and plays an important role in educating
people
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 about
art
Use synonyms
,
history
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by devina.shrestha6 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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