IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

some people work for the same oraganisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both views and give yout own opinion.

#people #work #oraganisation #life #organisations #yout
Some people are concerned that it is better to work only for
one
 organisation, but others highly disagree with
this
 statement. While they reckon, that
this
 perception is not the best and having a job in the various working places is more
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
. But it really depends on what kind of person you are.
This
eesay
Correct your spelling
essay
 will discuss both sides of
disagreement
Correct article usage
the disagreement
show examples
, so to at the end give my final opinion on
this
 topic. We all know, that in today's world the experiences are
vere
Correct your spelling
very
 significant. Due to that factor, we constantly need to broaden
your
Correct pronoun usage
our
show examples
 minds.
Consequently
, it is impossible to achieve in
one
 company. Some of
work
Add an article
the work
show examples
 can easily become tedious and humdrum and
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
changing the specific environment can give us some extra incentives.
Likewise
, having more
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 just
one
 job can encourage us to meet new people.
For instance
, Many creative firms
decides
Change the verb form
decide
show examples
 to constantly replace their workers, because of
possibility
Add an article
the possibility
show examples
 of becoming uncreative and
then
reduntant
Correct your spelling
redundant
 humans are given new opportunities in other departments, where they can start a new
journay
Correct your spelling
journey
.
On the other hand
, when people are working in the same place for a long period of time, they create a community.
This
 is
vital
Add an article
a vital
the vital
show examples
 argument for citizens who
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
 better around
coliques
Correct your spelling
cliques
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 they trust. If they have been
Correct your spelling
around
show examples
round
Correct your spelling
around
show examples
 a group of friends from work, they would much more be looking forward
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 the
next
 day, where they would spent time. To sum up, I am ensured that advantages are far more overshadowing any possible drawbacks. The person considering
this
 example
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 should definitely think
what
Change preposition
about what
show examples
 the kind of human being is. If you want to self-improve and learn
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
 new, changing a job is necessary in
this
 case.
That is
 why I reckon, that being in various organisations is better, rather than being in just
one
.
Submitted by anna.greczylo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: