IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays, part of society concurs that problem-solving of environmental issues should be escalated
globally
Punctuation problem
globally,
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while
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 other people think it is better to overcome them on a national scale. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both sides in my own favour. On the
one
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 hand, there are lots of environmental
problems
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 that happen not only in
one
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country
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, but
also
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 in numerous
countries
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. Global warming, climate change, and carbon footprints are
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
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 of serious
problems
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 on our planet. As we live on the same earth, these
problems
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 should be solved in a collective way. A huge
number
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amount
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 of deforestation in
one
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country
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 will affect
this
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 planet.
For instance
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,
Amazon
Correct article usage
the Amazon
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 rainforest in Brazil contributes the most oxygen in the world. When the forest experiences
wildfire
Correct article usage
a wildfire
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, it will affect the carbon emissions in our world.
On the other hand
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, every
country
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 has its own regulations, including rules in regards to earth
problems
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.
One
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country
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 or more could not be pressed to obey the rules of other
countries
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.
For instance
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, in South Korea, the campaign to buy and use electric vehicles is massively advertised and Hyundai is an example of a car brand that
produce
Correct subject-verb agreement
produces
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 electric cars.
However
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, there are some
countries
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 that still use
gasoline fuel
Use the right word
gasoline-fueled
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 vehicles, like Indonesia,
although
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 the advertisement is not as high as
South
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in South
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 Korea.
This
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 is because every nation has the privilege to decide its own rules.
To sum up
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, there are various environmental
problems
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 that should be tackled internationally
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
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, there are
also
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 some
problems
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 that should be handled locally because of the different regulations in every nation.
However
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, it would be good if
countries
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 could implement the good things that have already been done by other
countries
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, provided that the result is to make our planet
in
Change preposition
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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better
way
Check wording
apply
show examples
.

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Task Response
Make sure to clearly state your own opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use linking words (like 'firstly', 'on the other hand') to connect your ideas more smoothly.
Task Response
Add more specific examples to support your points, making them clearer to the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
You have mentioned relevant issues such as global warming and electric vehicles.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • international cooperation
  • sovereign rights
  • Paris Agreement
  • climate change
  • ocean pollution
  • collective measures
  • economic interests
  • political will
  • enforcement issues
  • free-riders
  • tailor-made solutions
  • transboundary pollution
  • resource constraints
  • global frameworks
  • national efforts
What to do next:
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