Modern societies need specialists in certain fields, but not others. Some people, therefore, think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive the government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?

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A widely heated debate regarding whether the merits of education funding should be limited to only

subjects

Use synonyms

needed by society outweigh the demerits has received accumulating attention from the public. As for my perspective, I am opposed to the statement, and the reasons will be thoroughly elaborated on as follows. An array of factors might lead to why allocating all government funding to certain fields seems attractive. First of all,

this

Linking Words

policy can fill the labor shortage in

subjects

Use synonyms

catering to the job market, since it encourages students to select funded majors.

For instance

Linking Words

, semiconductors and software services play a crucial role in Taiwan’s economy, accounting for 80% of job openings in

this

Linking Words

small island.

Therefore

Linking Words

, after the Taiwanese government waived 100% of tuition fees for students who studied electrical engineering over the decade, companies like TSMC no longer face challenges in finding enough well-educated employers.

Secondly

Linking Words

, providing incentives for individuals to study certain

subjects

Use synonyms

helps them live a relatively steady life without concerns about being laid off.

This

Linking Words

is simply because industries that are needed by society usually have consistent demand among citizens, which makes variations in annual revenue little.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, in my opinion, the shortcomings of concentrating education budgets overtake the benefits.

To begin

Linking Words

with, youngsters who are not interested in funded

subjects

Use synonyms

will be underserved.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

policy fails to foster diverse development among every individual.

Additionally

Linking Words

, some endangered professions will disappear in the future if the authorities opt not to spend money training young talents in those fields. In conclusion, based on the aforementioned, the drawbacks of funding only certain

subjects

Use synonyms

surpass the advantages because it ignores part of people’s interests and may be detrimental to some vocations.

a9572111067Mon Feb 03 2025

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What works well

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear viewpoint on the issue, and you provide relevant supporting examples.

coherence and cohesion

You have organized your essay into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your arguments.

Improvement Suggestions

task achievement

Try to strengthen the development of your ideas. Make sure each point is well-supported and elaborated upon.

coherence and cohesion

Consider varying your sentence structure and using more cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic efficiency
allocate resources
job market
unemployment
underemployment
skill gap
critical sectors
financial incentives
societal needs
potential for resentment
undervalued
academic performance
overspecialization
diversity in skills
cultural development
holistic societal growth

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What works well

Improvement Suggestions

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studing for a qualification.

In many parts of the world, some famous people are considered as 'role models' and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development?

You participated in a public event organized at a local park. Write a letter to the event organizer. In your letter tell them some feedback about the event; explain what you particularly enjoyed; give some suggestions for improvement.

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organisation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.