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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#governments #world #money #illnesses #diseases #health #education #prevention
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The expenditure on the health care system worldwide constitutes a huge proportion of the countries' budgets. While some people would argue that we have to focus on medicating the current diseases, others
however
 believe that we can allocate some funds for preventative procedures to the most common illnesses like cancer and high cholesterol level and high blood pressure. In my perspective, we should improve our health education and training to provide the hospitals with high-qualified and skilled staff beside that we have to educate the public about the potential illnesses and how can we avoid them. As a starting point, undoubtedly, many countries around the globe suffer from the shortage of medical workers which impose challenges for providing a good medical service. For sure, the immediate solution is to increase the medical colleges and subsidise them to educate and train physicians, nurses and pharmacists.
Additionally
, we should promote these medical professions to entice more learners to pursue them by increasing their salaries ,increments, incentives and perks.
On the other hand
, the government should organize an initiative to raise the awareness of the public to avoid some potential diseases by having healthy lifestyles.
For instance
, a lot of specialists confirm that around half of cancer cases could be prevented if we had a healthier life.
Furthermore
, we should warn people about the excessive use of salt and sugar as they are connected to high blood pressure and diabetes respectively. To conclude, our deal with the medical field should be a revolutionary change to adapt to the emerging maladies in our community. We have to spend more in medical classes and educate the folk about their health in every outlet which could save the expensive fund on treating the diseases.
Submitted by abdalla_bekheet on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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