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Band 6

In some school and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature) and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this trend need to be changed?

#school #universities #girls #arts #subjects #e #g #literature #boys #science #physics #trend
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Arts
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subjects
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 are chosen by schoolgirls, and science
subjects
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 are chosen by
boys
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 in schools and universities. Young women
love
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arts
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subjects
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, and
boys
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 like technique
subjects
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 because of the effect of outside environments and the structure of their brains.
This
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 trend may change in the future to maintain the development of society. First of all, there are differences in the brain between schoolgirls and
boys
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. The left brains which relate to the logic and maths calculations of
boys
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 are more advanced than
girls
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, and the right brains which relate to the
arts
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 and imagination of
girls
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 are more advanced than
boys
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.
Moreover
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, the environments where
boys
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 and
girls
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 live may affect them.
For example
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, when
girls
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 grow up they start to dress up and make up girly things making them
love
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arts
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, colour, and imagination more.
Furthermore
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, all the people, who always think
boys
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 need to study science and
girls
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 need to study
arts
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, may affect the thinking of
boys
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 and
girls
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 .
Secondly
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, the trend that
girls
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love
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 literature
subjects
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, and
boys
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 like technique
subjects
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 should be changed because societies need to be developed and improved. The balance between
boys
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 and
girls
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 in choosing the subject will help develop the societies.
For example
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, a lot of
girls
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 like science
subjects
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 and
boys
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love
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arts
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subjects
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 in universities in recent days.
Moreover
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, the government should support the balance between them to develop their country. In conclusion, the structures of
brain
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the brain
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 and the changing environments can affect
subjects
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 which
boys
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 and young women may choose in university.
This
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 trend should be changed because of the development of society.
Submitted by hana44happy on

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Task Achievement
Consider expanding your argument with more detailed examples and evidence for your points. Specific examples can strengthen your argument and make your ideas clearer.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on enhancing the complexity of your sentence structures and the variety of your vocabulary to enrich the readability and academic tone of your essay.
Task Achievement
Try to ensure a balanced discussion in your essay by exploring ideas from multiple perspectives. This can make your argument more nuanced and compelling.
Task Achievement
Avoid making sweeping generalizations about gender and abilities without providing substantial evidence. This can help maintain an objective and academic tone throughout your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your essay.
Task Achievement
You've successfully adhered to the essay prompt by addressing both parts of the question.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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