The family has a great influence on children development but the influence from outside the home play bigger part in children's likes. do you agree or disagree?

#influence #children #development #home #part

in 21 century, the majority of individuals are want to fulfil become own goals. it is true of

children

evolution has a great impression on the family but the impact from outside the play best

role

rather than, home. I totally agree with

this

above said the given statement. I explain it upcoming paragraph. to substantial, education is the best way to kinder development. until

children

will not go to school

then

they can't learn how can communicate with others.

however

, they are learning respect, manners, from teachers. To explain, teachers play the main

role

children

life because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they teach our kinder how to grow in on life and ready for the upcoming competition in the future.

Moreover

kids

make new friends and play with them while in

this

way their brain development.

Furthermore

, awareness is the best

role

for progeny generation of parents responsibility to take

kids

and enjoy outside. but how does awareness come? when

children

go through the society.

for example

, we don't let the

kids

outside

then

they can't take knowledge about society and upcoming competitions in the future. apart from

this

, the most important

role

children

life playing games with others. games are not only enjoyable but

also

affect the mind. while

children

are participating in competition

then

they boost their own confidence In conclusion, communication with the outside is better rather than home impact .

although

, home is the

first

school for

kids

impression

besides

society is the most vital

role

for

children

Submitted by naresh on Wed Dec 08 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The family has a great influence on children development but the influence from outside the home play bigger part in children's likes. do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Compare the advantages and disadvantages of three of the following as media for communicating information. State which you consider to be the most effective. •comics, books, radio, television, film, theatre

Task 2 In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

"Prevention is better than cure" Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?