The family has a great influence on children development but the influence from outside the home play bigger part in children's likes. do you agree or disagree?

#influence #children #development #home #part

in 21 century, the majority of individuals are want to fulfil become own goals. it is true of

children

evolution has a great impression on the family but the impact from outside the play best

role

rather than, home. I totally agree with

this

above said the given statement. I explain it upcoming paragraph. to substantial, education is the best way to kinder development. until

children

will not go to school

then

they can't learn how can communicate with others.

however

, they are learning respect, manners, from teachers. To explain, teachers play the main

role

children

life because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they teach our kinder how to grow in on life and ready for the upcoming competition in the future.

Moreover

kids

make new friends and play with them while in

this

way their brain development.

Furthermore

, awareness is the best

role

for progeny generation of parents responsibility to take

kids

and enjoy outside. but how does awareness come? when

children

go through the society.

for example

, we don't let the

kids

outside

then

they can't take knowledge about society and upcoming competitions in the future. apart from

this

, the most important

role

children

life playing games with others. games are not only enjoyable but

also

affect the mind. while

children

are participating in competition

then

they boost their own confidence In conclusion, communication with the outside is better rather than home impact .

although

, home is the

first

school for

kids

impression

besides

society is the most vital

role

for

children

Submitted by naresh on Wed Dec 08 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The family has a great influence on children development but the influence from outside the home play bigger part in children's likes. do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The number of obese children is growing over the past years. Some say that parents should be punished for letting their child becoming fat. Discuss and give your opinion.

Some people suggest that sport champions should be banned from television, meanwhile the others say it is allowed. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?