In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message

There is a

widely-held

Correct your spelling

widely held

show examples

belief that

children

can attain everything with vigorous

attempt

Fix the agreement mistake

attempts

show examples

This

notion can be a double-edged sword and may have some positive and negative effects on youngsters that will be discussed in

this

essay

respectively

Rephrase

apply

show examples

. Many merits can be said about

this

idea.

Firstly

, it may develop

special

Add an article

a special

show examples

mentality in

children

that would prevent them from being comfort seekers.

Thus

, they learn they would have achieved benefits provided that they

endeavored

Change the spelling

endeavoured

show examples

in every aspect of their lives. Examples can be seen in schools among students who study harder and achieve higher points in their exams

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apply

show examples

consequently

Moreover

this

idea may lead them to have more self-confidence as they learn to rely on themselves and their hard work in every situation. Those with

having

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the cited viewpoint appear to have more independent characters. Based on the results of some research,

youngers

Correct your spelling

young people

show examples

with

developed

Correct article usage

the developed

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mentioned

Verb problem

apply

show examples

point of view have stronger and self-supporting personalities not only in their childhood but

also

in older ages. Turning to some negative points of

this

belief,

children

may become perfectionists.

This

may lead to some negative effects on their mental status.

For instance

, those with

this

type of disorder have less amount of self-esteem and believe that they neglect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

everything which can adversely influence their mentality.

In addition

youngers

Correct your spelling

younger

show examples

may harm themselves physically as they try harder than

their capability

Replace the word

they are capable

show examples

to accomplish

Change preposition

of accomplishing

show examples

in every

circumstances

Change to a singular noun

circumstance

show examples

Thus

, they may become exhausted and cease to do anything suddenly.

For example

, there are many

children

who stop attending classes suddenly

due to

fatigue

resulted

Wrong verb form

resulting

show examples

from doing physical activities more than their capacity for a short period of time.

To conclude

, it seems that teaching

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation hard work in order to achieve everything in their lives can have both helpful

Correct word choice

and

show examples

hazardous results on their characters. It may cause them

being

Change the verb form

to be

show examples

self-confident or may develop dependent characters.

Submitted by TUTOO on Wed Dec 08 2021

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task achievement

Clarify your main points more explicitly and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. This will help strengthen the response to the task.

coherence and cohesion

Incorporate a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of your essay. This will help enhance the coherence of your writing.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This helps in making your ideas more persuasive and your essay more detailed.

coherence and cohesion

Work on structuring your paragraphs more effectively. Each should start with a clear topic sentence, followed by examples or explanations, and conclude with a sentence that summarizes or links to your overall point.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

You recently bought a toy from a company online. When the toy was delivered, you found some problems with it. Write a letter to the company manager. In your letter: -Describe the toy -Explain the problems with it -Tell the manager what you would like her/him to do

nuclear power is far too dangerous, therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy.to what extent do you agree.

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries today, children are taught from a young age that competition is important and that winning is everything. Is this a positive or a negative development?

International tourism is now more common than ever before. Some feel it is a positive trend but others don’t. Give your opinion