IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#relationships #workplace #person #focus #work
Establishing a good
work
environment
 is essential for every
buisness
Correct your spelling
business
. It is sometimes argued that building strong bonds with other
colleageus
Correct your spelling
colleagues
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not necessary, as the main goal is to concentrate on the
work
. I completely disagree with
this
 view, and
following
Change preposition
apply
show examples
I will explain in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
. There are many reasons why I believe that
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 good relations in
work
 is important.
Firstly
,
people
 need a healthy
environment
 to finish the
work
, and
this
 cannot be achieved without having good relationships with each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
. The
work
environment
 can influence
people
 and encourage them to do better in
Correct pronoun usage
their job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
, as they feel comfortable
to deal
Change the verb form
dealing
show examples
 with other
employees
. In Google company,
for example
,
employees
 have a strong relationship,
as a result
,
thousends
Correct your spelling
thousands
 of
people
 applied to
work
 with them for the
reputition
Correct your spelling
reputation
repetition
 of the company
environment
.
Secondly
, good relationships between workers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a positive impact on
people
's mental health.
Employees
 who
work
 in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good harmony
believed
Add a missing verb
are believed
show examples
 to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strong mental
cababilities
Correct your spelling
capabilities
 to finish their duties. They are not distracted
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 negative energy
comes
Correct pronoun usage
that comes
show examples
 out from troubles with other
employees
.
Finally
,
people
 spend the majority of their time at
work
, and it is essential to have good relations with other workers,
instead
 many
people
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be forced to leave
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
 and search for other
placees
Correct your spelling
places
 with a good
environment
.
For instance
, my friend who worked for a company for ten years
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 has been forced to leave
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 the relationship between the
employees
 become worse.
To sum up
, I would say that interpersonal relationships with
colleageus
Correct your spelling
colleagues
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
work
 are crucial to increase productivity and
employees
Change noun form
employees'
employee's
show examples
 mental health.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 it is vital to avoid
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
 good
employees
becaue
Correct your spelling
because
 of the toxic
environment
.
Submitted by nidaa_hamed on

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coherence cohesion
The essay can improve logical structure by ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs and within points. Work on connecting ideas logically and coherently.
task achievement
While you have addressed the task, try to deepen your analysis and explanations. Providing more detailed examples and elaborating on your points could strengthen the task response further.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively presents your position and outlines the essay's structure.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and restates your position on the topic.

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