Write about the following topic. Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The subject of showing famous
people
on the
media
is creating a debate between the public. Some think it is a violation
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
privacy,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
others say that well-known persons should afford the cost of their stardom by paying time from their personal
life
. In my opinion, popular
people
should be often given some solitude by all. From
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
side of view, celebrated
people
suffer on daily basis from lack of privacy. Actually, journalists tend to follow a celebrity to his house, to his workplace and to public spaces in
order
to collect some shocking truth for the public.
For instance
, many
people
may prefer to buy a magazine or a journal with a headline about someone who is considered a perfect ideal to them.
In addition
, many social
media
creators are exposing some hilarious or insulting materials in
order
to make some profits without considering the feelings or the opinions of the star: subject of these materials. Many influencers are gaining more fame by using others' failures on
virtual
Add an article
a virtual
the virtual
show examples
platform
Change the noun form
platforms
show examples
such
as Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.
From
Change preposition
On
show examples
the flip side, famous persons are using their individual
life
in
order
to expand their popularity. Currently, the development of social
media
helped many young celebrities to show their daily activities, and their followers are more attached
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
their
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
. Like Cristiano Ronaldo, he is a great football player who was able to show us his
life
outside the pitch in an amazing way.
Moreover
, some famous personalities make use of
media
for their
real
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
life
shows
such
as the Kardashian family and Opera.
However
, it is important for me that everyone
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
their free space. In fact, both famous and ordinary
people
prefer to have some
solitude
Replace the word
solitary
show examples
life
in
order
to flee from depression and anxiety. Activities
such
as
bush walk
Correct your spelling
bushwalk
show examples
, a vacation in
water
Add an article
a water
show examples
villa at the beach or hunting in
wild
Add an article
the wild
a wild
show examples
forest. In plus,
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
followed all the time will increase the sense of personal insecurity.
People
have the right to feel safe in their basic
environment
Change the noun form
environments
show examples
such
as their home, their workplace, and their
neighbor
Change the spelling
neighbour
show examples
. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and the government can’t forbid the
media
from doing their job by tracking celebrities’ steps. But they must organize the medias’ activities in a very convenient way for the famous
people
in
order
to let them enjoy a small personal space
Submitted by eng.ali.hammoud.26 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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