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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#universities #numbers #students
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Undeniably, equality between males and females should be a right, not an advantage. According to some, universities had better accept the same numbers of each individual in all fields. In my opinion, I strongly disagree that study opportunities ought to be equal for each gender in each
subject
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. The good reason not to admit equal numbers of male and female
students
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 in every
subject
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 is individual differences between them. Each gender has particular traits. So, working in some careers can be challenging for them.
For instance
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, a female is more reliable than
men
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 TO WORK AS a nurse or kid coach. Because women cope with the kids or the sicks patiently.
Men
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,
however
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, perform superior for some tasks.
In other words
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,
men
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 have strong muscles naturally.
Then
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, they are capable OF carrying out body activity simply. Another point to consider is that being no equal numbers of
men
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 and women
students
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 in each
subject
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 means that EACH person has not only unique abilities but
also
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 particular traits. If each
subject
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's capacity is confined, the
students
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 will not utilize their talents properly. Inevitably, they will educate in a
subject
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 WHICH they are not interested in.
Hence
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, those who are gifted cannot succeed, as well. If their talents do not thrive,
this
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 society will not reach prominent achievements because
students
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 who study reluctantly will not be experts.
Then
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 community does not conduct in the right way.
As a result
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, THE LACK OF equality of education in every
subject
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 for each gender is a principal factor to improve both
society
Change to a plural noun
societies
show examples
 and develop educators who are talented in individual skills.
Submitted by arastoo_2731 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
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