Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #part #time #smartphone #development

recent

Add an article

the recent

show examples

decade

Fix the agreement mistake

decades

show examples

people

choose to

use

their smartphones when they have leisure

time

this

essay will state the

reasons

for

this

and I believe that it is a negative development. On the one hand, there are two key

reasons

for

this

phenomenon. The main reason is because of the advancement of technology. As technology has been developing rapidly, smartphones are becoming more and more common, almost every citizen will own a smartphone nowadays. When they are bored, they

use

their

phones

to play games or watch videos for

entertaining

Replace the word

entertainment

show examples

People

will

then

become addicted and spend most of their free

time

on it. Another reason is

because

Replace the word

that

show examples

we need

use

Fix the infinitive

to use

show examples

phones

to stay in contact.

People

can keep in touch with their friends through social media like Instagram and Facebook, it allows us to communicate with friends anywhere and anytime, eliminating geographical boundaries.

As a result

people

like to spend

time

Change the verb form

using

show examples

use

their

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

for browsing social media.

On the other hand

, there are two

reasons

why it is a negative development.

Firstly

, it will reduce real-life interactions. When

people

only focus on their

phones

when they have free

time

, they will not choose to get involved in social activities.

This

will reduce the chance for

people

to meet with their friends or family and it may affect their relationships.

Moreover

, it may affect

people

's health. When

people

are addicted to their

phones

, they may

use

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

for the whole day without taking a rest.

This

may lead to neck pain or short sight and it will negatively affect their health. To conclude, there are a few

reasons

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

why

people

spend a lot of

time

Add an article

a smartphone

the smartphone

show examples

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

this

essay believes that it is a negative development.

Submitted by chloelwy3905 on Fri Dec 10 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

screen time
digital addiction
instant gratification
multifunctional
connectivity
social networking
online services
self-expression
entertainment options
instant access
educational resources
communication tools
virtual interactions
distracted living
technological dependence

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Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Today people are travelling more than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that goverment should make it free for all student no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many parts of the world girls and boys are educated together in co-educational or mixed schools. Some people think that girls and boys benefit from being educated separately in single-sex schools. To what extent do you agree with this view?

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it wil lok after redevelopment next year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.