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Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #part #time #smartphone #development
In the recent decade,
people
 choose to
use
 their smartphones when they have leisure
time
,
this
 essay will state the
reasons
 for
this
 and explain why it is a negative development. On the one hand, there are two key
reasons
 for
this
 phenomenon. The main reason is because of the advancement of technology. As technology has been developing rapidly, smartphones are becoming more and more common, almost every citizen will own a smartphone nowadays. When they are bored, they
use
 their
phones
 to play games or watch videos for entertainment.
People
 will
then
 become addicted and spend most of their free
time
 on it. Another reason is that we need to
use
phones
 to stay in contact.
People
 can keep in touch with their friends through social media like Instagram and Facebook, it allows us to communicate with friends anywhere and anytime, eliminating geographical boundaries.
As a result
,
people
 like to spend
time
to
Change the verb form
using
show examples
use
 their
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 for browsing social media.
On the other hand
, there are two
reasons
 why it is a negative development.
Firstly
, it will reduce real-life interactions. When
people
 only focus on their
phones
 when they have free
time
, they will not choose to get involved in social activities.
This
 will reduce the chance for
people
 to meet with their friends or family and it may affect their relationships.
Moreover
, it may affect
people
's health. When
people
 are addicted to their
phones
, they may
use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 for the whole day without taking a rest.
This
 may lead to neck pain or short sight and it will negatively affect their health. To conclude, there are a few
reasons
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why
people
 spend a lot of
time
 on
Add an article
a smartphone
the smartphone
show examples
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
this
 essay believes that it is a negative development.
Submitted by chloelwy3905 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • digital addiction
  • instant gratification
  • multifunctional
  • connectivity
  • social networking
  • online services
  • self-expression
  • entertainment options
  • instant access
  • educational resources
  • communication tools
  • virtual interactions
  • distracted living
  • technological dependence
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