Many people judge success solely by money and material possessions. However, success can be achieved or measured in other ways. What are your opinions on this topic?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The world nowadays has turned to be a capitalist based society where money indicates the power of an individual. The idea of success is not defined by happiness,
instead
Linking Words
, by the value of material possessions.
However
Linking Words
, there is an argument whether
such
Linking Words
an achievement should be measured from money or not which will be discussed in the following essay.
First
Linking Words
of all, it is undeniable that finance is an important aspect of human's life to survive in the present time.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is not surprising why various people would consider it as an achievement.
For instance
Linking Words
, the reason for choosing future careers for children currently is solely based on how much they could earn,
likewise
Linking Words
, it is clear evidence what are their views of success which show how deep is the root of capitalism in society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many would argue that it is not a guarantee for true satisfaction.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many persons suggest that if focusing on material possessions too much, will
instead
Linking Words
lead to stress and inability to cope with failures. For illustration, to earn a lot of income, they would need to work extra hard and lose time to relax or see their families. Eventually, they may end up with millions but feel empty or unsatisfied, eventually, they would be depressed.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, for someone, only being healthy, time to spend with family or travel the world is enough to be happy. In conclusion, evidently,
this
Linking Words
essay believed that success should not be measured by numbers.
Instead
Linking Words
, it should be from how much they have completed their goals in life and how satisfied they are with what they have.
Submitted by petchlada.yaovapak on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: