Advertisements are influencing us in a negative way, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, for many businesses, advertisement has become their number one tool to uplift their sale.
However
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, ads can be seen as influencing the public in a negative way. I would argue that
this
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is not necessarily the case
always
Rephrase
apply
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which be discussed in detail in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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with, there is no dought that some individuals take promotions in a bad way.
Firstly
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,
according to
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them, what they have bought because of advertisement, is not commensurate to the payment they have
done
Verb problem
made
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.
For instance
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, they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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bought a Zara jacket at a price of 15k which is not made of original leather and got damaged within six months.
Furthermore
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,
due to
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extensive commercials, the common mob tend to buy more than they actually need.
On the other hand
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, promotions do have a greater number of positives which influence the crowd in the right way. A student who has just passed his graduation may get aided by a publication to get his first job.
For example
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, a lot of youngsters don't have proper knowledge about how to find work after their education, but they
saw
Wrong verb form
see
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an article about a job position available and they can apply for the same.
Moreover
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, today because of social media, more and more people are becoming aware of the unique products and how to get them which were not available readily in their local market.
To conclude
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, bearing in mind the above information and deliberating all facts, it can be deduced that
although
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there are ill effects of publicity, the advantages of promotions can not be overlooked.
In other words
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, advertisements are only a business strategy but it solely depends on us how to react to them.
Submitted by Shubhamchef2019 on

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas within and between paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main argument effectively.
task achievement
The introduction and conclusion need to be more substantial. The introduction should clearly present the writer's position, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the position. Additionally, ensure that all ideas are directly relevant to the task and the main argument is clear and consistently maintained throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Intrusive
  • Omnipresent
  • Culture of consumerism
  • Materialism
  • Unrealistic standards
  • Self-esteem
  • Targeting strategies
  • Privacy invasion
  • Psychological manipulation
  • Overexposure
  • Decision fatigue
  • Conscious
  • Informed choices
  • Biased
  • Mislead
  • Critical sectors
  • Repetition
  • Environmental degradation
  • Throwaway culture
  • Non-durable goods
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